How to Get Back into Dating in Your 30's

When one relationship ends painfully, it can be very difficult to believe in love again and to unburden oneself to a new person at least a little. However, it is necessary to do that in order to live a full life again. It's been a while since the moment you broke up with your partner and it would seem possible to think about new relationships. Nonetheless, even a thought of getting to know another person horrifies you. It is a common situation, isn’t it?

Do you know how to date in your 30s? To start a new relationship after a breakup or a divorce, you need to have special courage. You might be in a state, "I want to fall in love, but I'm afraid." Or it's been quite a long time since you had a date with someone or just flirted with an attractive woman. It is not easy to let a stranger into life, but there are undeniable advantages. You have a perfect chance to create the different, happier future, dating in your 30s.

What's new about dating for 30's in the 21st century?

Dating in your 30s after divorce is not so easy as in your 20s when you don’t have so serious life baggage. You have grown up, the choice has narrowed down, the rules of the game have changed, the biological clock is ticking and you are not that naïve man. The number of the unmarried friends reduces each year and you don’t spend weekend nights at the bars trying to pick up a girl, it is just not interesting for you anymore, besides your loneliness puts a lot of pressure on you and make you look for a partner. It’s not easy to find a soul mate at any age, but it is especially difficult dating in your 30s.

The fact is that the period of life between 30 and 40 years is the so-called third period of life. A man assesses his successes over the past period and assesses whether he has managed to do everything he wanted for that moment. In most cases, he understands that he can finally enjoy his own life to the fullest. You can feel this state dating in your 40s if your spirit is still as young as it was in your 30s.

In fact, life after thirty is different from life after twenty because you have more money, more professional background and experience as a whole, perhaps you already have your own property, you have visited several countries and you are a good judge of character. In some countries, people consider the age of "30" to be sacred, but it’s necessary to leave this relic of the past behind. It's high time to enjoy life and start dating in your late 30s.

Some features of modern dating in 30s

A woman can be already married

The most common nuisance is that a woman with whom you are going to date is married or is in a relationship and hides it. Of course, you will not demand her identity card or look attentively at the ring finger searching for a trace from the ring. However, if she is not going to spend her weekends or holidays with you, she does not answer the phone calls, she goes out to call back, or she cannot go to the spontaneous event that you have offered, then you just have to ask her outright whether she is married or not.

A woman may have children from a previous marriage

You have to decide whether you are ready for that or not. Will you be able to accept the fact that a part of your common budget will be spent on her children with whom you have to establish a good relationship (as well as with her ex-husband), and that your first child will not be the first for her? If the answers to these questions are yes, then you can boldly continue dating. However, if there are too many negative answers, it is better not to continue this relationship.

A woman may turn out to be weird

One of the most common stereotypes sounds like that,"If a woman after 30 has never been married, then there is something wrong with her, she can be really weird or even worse." This is a bunch of nonsense. Nowadays, it is no longer customary to get married right after college or university. Women try to realize themselves professionally, make serious purchases like real estate or cars, and do not rush to get married early on equal terms with men. Do not look for concealed shortcomings and skeletons in the closet if your partner was not married.

A woman has a different worldview

Pay attention to how similar your worldviews are. Even if your girlfriend is very beautiful and wealthy, listen to yourself whether you like to talk with her, whether your range of interests is the same, whether she understands your jokes, whether your degrees of maturity coincide. If the answer is no, then do not waste your time on a person who, perhaps, will eventually annoy you.

You should be ready to take care of her

How to date in your 30s? When women are involved in dating after 30, they pay attention to man’s ability to take care of them. Care does not necessarily mean gifts, flowers, and paying the bill. Girls look for a man who will take them home, offer the help and not allow to carry something heavy. Remember that support is the basis of any relationship and nobody wants to spend time on a person who is not capable to do that.

How to get back into dating in your 30's?

Men are afraid of marriage, serious relationships by nature, especially at an early age. This is associated primarily with emotional, physical and psychological maturation, that is, when a person becomes really an adult. Any man always gives priority to his work, self-realization, achievements and success. It is very difficult to achieve all these when you are 20, but by the 30th anniversary, almost all men have a certain base, they already determined their direction in life, gained the financial basis and they are ready to get married. By the age of 30, they begin to understand family values, they want to have a wife, children, their awareness becomes higher and they reflect on getting back into the dating scene.

Look ahead

Before getting back into the dating game, you should better think about the possible prospects. To do that, you should carefully analyze the previous relationship, understand what went wrong and why you broke up. Having done that, you increase your chances that you will not do the same mistakes getting back to dating. Try to understand and evaluate your role in the breakup. Find the answers to the following questions, “When did you have the most serious misunderstandings with your partner? What was the most frequent cause of quarrels? Now, when the first emotions are left in the past, would you do anything different?” Honest answers will be useful for the successful getting back into dating after divorce and building new relationships avoiding the previous mistakes.

Think also about what strengthened the relationship, and what prevented it. People tend to change everything at once, but you do not want to destroy anything, do you? Therefore, it is extremely important to analyze not only the problems and complexities but also carefully reflect on the good side of your previous relationship. Besides, you should understand what features and emotions you want to find in your partner and get in the next relationship. In any relationship, there is something that allows it to exist, even if the couple breaks up in a while. What did you like about your ex-partner? Why did you choose her? What of her positive features would you like to find in your new partner? The more clearly you imagine someone you want to see next to you, the easier it will be for you to understand whether you have a joint future or not.

Break up forever

It's good when the relationship ends badly. It sounds awkward, but try to understand that it is better not to stay "friends" when you break up. After all, you will want to return some important things of your common life. Talking about friends, they will understand why you no longer go with them to bowl or swim. Anyway, you should not have a serious relationship with the ex. Even if you work in one area, there can be problems in cooperation sooner or later.

How often people mean something else under the words, "let's stay friends." People don’t want to feel the strong pain of the breakup and they continue missing their ex-partner. However, even if you have just a friendly relationship, it will certainly have a "bitter taste" or something like that. It will be with a taste of that unique bitterness that only masochists can like.

In addition, it is likely that you will find an inner readiness for getting back into dating, and you will be tormented by the question of how to start it without destroying the friendship that has been formed. Vice versa, your ex can start a new relationship, and you will end up where you should be, it might be a second or even a third role.

Be ready for a date

How to get back to dating? You know that to meet a new worthy partner is always a good luck, and you don't know when that will happen. Nonetheless, you can prepare yourself for this meeting. Start small. For example, create your profile on a dating site, tell your friends that you are ready for a new relationship, announce to everyone your new status, "I want to get back into dating and fall in love!" The more people will know that you are in search, the more chances you will have to meet the right person with whom you will be able to create a family.

How to get back into dating? Think about the information that you can include into your profile on a dating site. Do it anyway, even if you do not want to register there, it will help you feel like a person who is ready for a relationship. The next stage is to ask your friends to create your portrait. Let them describe all your virtues without any false modesty. You should work on your self-esteem, recalling those moments of your biography that were successful. It is also important to set realistic goals. Do not demand a grandiose success of yourself. Sometimes it is enough to wash the dishes or to do any good thing to feel like a winner. Do not be afraid to praise yourself. Look for confirmation that there is nothing wrong with you. The next step is to try to understand what you want from a relationship, what you can give to another person, what is fundamentally important for you in a new stage of life. If you take these questions seriously, the answers to them will help you understand yourself and protect yourself from those who will be better off elsewhere.

You should listen to your heart

Perhaps your heart was already broken one day. Perhaps the breakup occurred because your ex-partner said or did unpleasant things. Make a decision to leave everything in the past and move on. It may take some time, but as soon as you allow yourself to leave the problems and sufferings in the past, and turn the page, the plan "I want to fall in love" in the form of romantic dating and meetings will come true.

Be open-minded and friendly. Try not to think only about what impression you make. Your date feels most likely as anxious and insecure as you. If you show your interest in a woman, be attentive to the date, you will certainly make a good impression on her.