What do I do if my girlfriend hits me, or how do men fall prey to abusers?

The headlines of popular psychological articles are full of advice and recommendations on dealing with a girl who a guy hit. But in today's society, such situations occur to the contrary. No matter how strange it may sound, cases, where a girl raises her hand to her boyfriend are also not uncommon. In the lives of men, some representatives do not mind taking advantage of the past upbringing of boys with the conviction that "girls do not get beaten up." And over time, these individuals begin to unleash their hands in the absolute certainty that they will not get change. In a moment of anger, she may jump on a man with her fists or punch him in the face.

Young people, who have repeatedly suffered the consequences of a woman's aggression wonder: what prompted her to do such things? After all, there must be some explanation for such negative behavior. Initially, digging into the memory and remembering the moments during which the beloved's aggression began is recommended.

There may be several reasons for such behavior:

• Jealousy. It is worth looking from the outside at your behavior, communication with people, beloved girl. Perhaps you insulted the feelings of your chosen one with a negative comment about her appearance or style or by comparing her with a rival. Any girl will not tolerate such statements, and this should be understood.
• Accumulated resentment. You can catch changes in the mood and behavior of your chosen one if you have been dating for a long time. Perhaps you did not notice that you are the source of this resentment. It is recommended to find out the reasons for this behavior immediately so that the fleeting conflict does not become a prolonged quarrel. Otherwise, there is a growing threat of a grandiose scandal, which may end with the use of force.
• An unstable character. This fact can be seen in advance, and conclusions can be drawn accordingly. Unfulfilled in time whims, bad moods, and using alcoholic beverages and other drugs show such ladies in all their glory. It is better to refuse to continue relations with such individuals if you do not want to become a victim of the offender. However, this will not end well, as practice shows.
• The guy is a provocateur. Yes, yes, that does happen. You may have allowed yourself a violent relationship with your beloved. Now she thinks she is defending herself against your attacks.

There are stories when you feel like you've met an angel during acquaintance: a modest appearance, a quiet voice, no vulgarities. But over time, there are some discontents and claims, during which the chosen one raises the tone or takes a swing. In such a case, it is worth immediately suppressing such behavior to make it clear that, at this stage, the relationship will end. If she values the collaborative relationship, an adequate person will undoubtedly make the correct conclusions.

Of course, this is not a reason to use fists, even if the quarrel is very active. A man is a person of flesh and blood, just like a woman. He has feelings and nerve endings. And no matter how much he was taught since childhood to endure pain, you should not do it for the sake of a woman's bad behavior. 

Psychologists are often at a loss as to why a charming representative raises her hand to her loved one. What reasons can cause such attacks of aggression, resulting in her forgetting about the tender relationship and turning into an absolute fury? Of course, a significant influence has a mental state and hormonal malfunctions. In such cases, getting a consultation with a specialist is necessary to resolve the problem. On the other hand, suppose improper upbringing is to blame, and the person believes she has every right to resolve issues by violence. In that case, the question arises about the need to terminate complex relationships, as they will not lead to anything good.

Why is my girlfriend hit me - reasons

When such a situation arises, the man feels powerless. Of course, he can fight back due to his physical superiority, but his moral principles hold him back. Of course, a man may restrain his chosen one to intercept her hands. But even such actions can leave traces of bruises on the girl's body. And if, after a scandal, she goes to the police, you are in trouble. It will be a challenge to prove your case in this situation. And if the woman grabs a knife? What can lead to such aggression? It should be noted that not every person in a rage will jump on a stranger; she is well aware of the consequences. And in a man with whom she is in a relationship, she is confident; a woman understands that she will not get a response.

It is worth noting that the girl does not know how to fight, so she just recklessly waves her hands around, trying to cause physical pain. Regarding sensitive perception, the man is no different from the special charming half; he also has pain points. So, what can such actions lead to? 

• The humiliation of one's dignity. A strong, confident man is ashamed to admit to others that he suffers from the beatings of his beloved.
• Powerlessness and confusion. Because of his moral principles, the man understands that he cannot respond to the abuse with similar actions. He understands that he cannot hit a person weaker than himself.
• Loss of romantic feelings. Not knowing what to expect from the chosen one in the next moment, a representative of the more vigorous sex cannot enjoy communication with his chosen one, and relations will become tense.
• The end of the relationship. Building a strong family in such an atmosphere of disrespect is challenging. But, as a rule, such a relationship ends with a loud scandal.

How should a man in such a situation behave? Fighting back is senseless; it can lead to severe consequences up to the trial. In addition, this may further enrage an inadequate person who decides to "punish" the spouse in other, no less sophisticated ways: to write a statement to the police, complain to family or mutual friends, or take the scandal to social media networks. At the very least, this is shameful.  

Therefore, such situations should be avoided as much as possible. Aggressive behavior should be stopped even at the moment of its manifestation. When irritation arises, it is necessary to talk and determine the reason for the aggression. If the woman is trying to vent her angry feelings on you, let her express herself in words without hitting you or using household objects.

A charming creature who has captivated you from the moment of acquaintance quickly loses her appearance, turning into an enraged fury. By his silence, the man gives reason to believe that he is ready to continue to tolerate such an attitude. It should be made clear at once that this communication method is unacceptable. Of course, the chosen one has the right to be angry and to make claims on certain occasions, but it does not give her the right to get handsy. Any conflicts should be resolved peacefully.

In case of unjustified attacks of aggression, try to calm your beloved and make attempts to talk. If you can't find a way out of the situation, suggest that to see a psychologist. If she doesn't understand the explanations, consider whether it is necessary to continue such a relationship.

Victim of an abusive relationship

As life practice shows, a not insignificant percentage of males suffer from female aggression. So how to help the more vigorous sex to get out of this situation? The list of possible actions is presented below:

• Seek help. Not every subject can afford the services of a professional psychotherapist. In this case, it is recommended to call the appropriate organizations' hotline, emergency telephone numbers, and lines of psychological support. You can send a request for help in a chat room.
• Separate yourself mentally from the statements and the demands of an unstable person. Her rage is not necessarily directed at you committing a mistake. Such persons do not hesitate to transfer to others what they are unsatisfied with themselves. Analyze the situation, and it will help you to give a decent response to physical violence to influence the course of events.
• Do not get into an argument. It is better to suppress the desire to "take revenge" to sting the offender more painfully. It is useless to prove the aggressor wrong. Imagine in front of you a crazy person with hallucinations; such people can not explain anything. An angry woman just as well will not be able to perceive reasonable arguments, and it will only aggravate the conflict situation.
• Believe in actions, not words. If, after such a situation, your beloved has repented and apologized, it does not mean that the problem will not repeat. Therefore, be more attentive, and pay attention to your beloved's actions and attitude.
• Be prepared for changes in your personal life. Building personal boundaries and specific rules is desirable, not allowing any pressure from the girl. However, once you give in to the abuser's provocations, it is difficult to trust them in the future entirely.

Every person has the right to respect and regular human companionship. However, by falling under the influence of an abuser, a man loses his dignity. And in the end, his patience is not infinite either. A justified rebuff can lead to unpredictable consequences. Therefore, it would be best not to complicate your life for the sake of an unbalanced psyche of a person, even one close to you.

Remember that all violence doesn't love silence. It would be best not to shut yourself away, being alone with your worries. Do not hesitate to discuss this situation with people close to you, do not doubt, you will be helped with advice. Someone's had a similar experience, and they will advise you how to behave in such a case. It is perfectly normal to ask for outside help to solve the problem.