Will I Be Alone Forever After Divorce?

Many people are sure that after divorce with a loved one, they will face a spell of bad luck that has no end. They consider it is impossible to improve life at all, much less to find a significant other after a marriage break-up. But it is far from the case. And now, you are going to learn how to get over a divorce and live a happy life.

how to get over a divorce

Is It Possible to Love Again After a Divorce?

Breaking up with a significant other is always painful and tormenting. Regardless of the reasons for divorce, everyone feels a certain spiritual emptiness, fear of loneliness, and self-doubt after parting with a loved one. How many days, months, or even years were spent on building these relationships?! It’s not easy to reverse everything and start from scratch. Besides, the things go from bad to worse if the news of the breakup was a complete surprise for a person.

Moreover, a lot of people feel somehow cheated after divorce, and it may well discourage them and turn off any attraction to the opposite sex for a long time: it would seem that the search for a new love does not fit in such painful and gloomy picture. And they start wondering, “Will I be single forever?” Nevertheless, life goes on, and you can find your happiness after divorce.

Pull yourself together to endure all the difficulties of divorce courageously. Leave all the bad behind and learn from this marriage invaluable lessons so as not to repeat such mistakes in future relationships. Of course, immediately after the break-up, it seems as though you will never marry again. However, the reality is that everyone needs someone to love. So in any case, you will still strive to find your soul mate, and you will certainly find them. Why? Because there are a lot of people who have faced the same problem as you and experienced a painful divorce. For example, you can search for a proven single woman dating site and communicate with a lady you like. Therefore, it is possible to love again after divorce, you just should follow our tips.

Common Reasons Why You Fear of Being Single After a Divorce

Why do you think so many people start new relationships or get married right after the divorce? The answer is simple: they are afraid of loneliness. But what is a reason for such a fear? Let's find out why you might be afraid of loneliness after divorce.

Your age

In society, there are still strong stereotypes that after 40 years, life ends and it is impossible to find new love. It is because of the fear of living alone after divorce that many unhappy couples stay together. However, sociologists say: you can arrange your personal life at any age. Divorce at a mature age has undoubted advantages.

Most likely, your children have already grown up. Now you can do everything you want, for example, attend courses, travel, do your things, and devote to yourself as much time as you wish.

  • You are independent and can finally choose a person who can make you happy.
  • You have drawn the moral and will not repeat the mistakes of a former relationship.

You have kids from a previous marriage

After divorce, as they say, all jointly acquired property in the form of beloved children, an old apartment, and a dinner service given for the wedding, as a rule, remains to the wife. But a car and a new cottage – of course, go to the ex-husband. And the woman tears around the old apartment caring for the kids and begins to wonder, “How can I think about myself?” “How to find time for a new relationship?” “Will I be alone forever?” “Who wants to date a woman with children?”

how to get over lonelinessAnd besides, where did this scary phrase, “Who needs me now” come from? Everyone needs you! Children – first of all! However, they want to see not a mediocre mouse, but their former mother: a cheerful, beautiful, healthy, and happy woman! So, move on and make every effort to become happy! There are many single people with children who dream of finding true love and building a strong family. Moreover, even a lot of childless people are ready to start a romantic relationship with someone who already has kids. Therefore, keep your chin up!

You think about your ex

Many couples stay together not because they are happy at this moment. They just hope that they will be happy "someday later." Hope for a happy future is one of the main factors in preserving a relationship, even the most miserable one. The fear of loneliness paints a beautiful picture of past relationships and a dark, terrible picture of the upcoming future without a loved one. This is one of the most popular reasons why a person is afraid of being single after divorce. "I cannot imagine life without him!" "I'm afraid to lose her and stay alone!" "I cannot forget her." Yes, this is what a person who has to go through a divorce often thinks. For some reason, a man is sure that his beloved one is the one and only, that there are no more relatives and friends, and loneliness is definitely waiting for him.

But this is not so! Do not perceive the person with whom you were married as the only one in your life. There are plenty more fish in the sea! On the Internet, there are a lot of hot women dating sites, where you can find a woman who will love and appreciate you.

Tips for Life after Divorce for Men

Psychologists say that men and women perceive a break-up with their loved ones in different ways due to natural mental differences between the sexes. However, it does not suggest that a man reacts to divorce less acutely than a woman. After all, a marriage break-up is always fraught with stress and can even lead to a long-term psychological injury. Therefore, check out 10 best tips for life after divorce.

1. Relieve pain

Remember, the main rule to deal with mental pain is the same as with physical injuries. You should not torment yourself with a question, “Will I always be alone?” but diagnose the causes of bad feelings, take pain medication, and start treatment. So, let’s start with the diagnosis. First of all, find out what exactly hurts you the most. It is with this that you will fight. The best analgesic at the initial stage of relieving pain, are people who love you. Call relatives and friends but only those who are ready to listen to you and support. The keyword is support. There is no need to communicate with people who will aggravate your emotional state with phrases like, "I told you so! You brought this on yourself."

Remember, alcohol is not an option. Moreover, temporary relief will lead to an aggravation of your condition the next day. The pain, anxiety, depression, and self-flagellation that you feel now will increase at times in the state of hangover.

2. Minimize any contact with the ex

Rent an apartment, divide a business, or move to another city, if right now you are still connected with your ex by a common job or living space. Moreover, do not try to find out any information about her over social media, do not ask friends about your ex-wife, and do not look for reasons to meet her. You should not give your former partner any secret (as you think) signals about yourself. Remember, the more time and energy you spend on ended relationships, the longer you get stuck in them.

3. Do not plunge into new relationships immediately after divorce

You should not start the search for a new loved one too early if you have not recovered from divorce yet. Of course, you have all the chances to meet love – no one doubts that. But the new relationship will not last long: having experienced divorce and plunged into new relationships, most people often perceive a new partner as a “replacement” for the old one. Another person feels that they are not valued as a personality but only used to endure divorce. Very few people feel comfortable with such a situation, so the couple breaks up.

So if you want to save time, then you should not start searching for a new loved one immediately after divorce. But you can still have a little fun: a short, non-committal affair is quite suitable. A holiday romance will be a great solution for you, so feel free to pack your bags and go on vacation.

4. Use the energy of people

It is one of the best tips on how to deal with being alone after divorce. Visit different exhibitions, theaters, fitness clubs, swimming pools, or just stroll as often as possible. The fact that you has got out of bed without an emergency is already a small victory. Now, let's move to the main secret. When you are among people, the feeling of loneliness goes away. Moreover, you can absorb the moral fibers of others thanks to mirror neurons. In the gym, theater, and at various exhibitions, usually, there are many people who lead an active lifestyle and work on their body and spirit. Allow yourself to get infected by their healthy mindset. Also, visiting different interesting places allows you to meet a good woman.

how to cope with being alone5. Stop self-flagellation

The search for causes and mistakes is not constructive immediately after divorce, and most often, they turn into self-flagellation. Learn to notice the moments when you start mentally torturing yourself. How to distinguish constructive analysis from unfair criticism? If you often ask the same question as, “How could I make such a mistake and be so stupid” and come to a state of pain and despair, then this is auto-aggression and a dead end. Leave it all behind and stop blaming yourself!

6. Do not harbor thoughts of revenge

Sometimes, the only source of joy after divorce is dreams of how you will take revenge on your ex-wife. The problem is that at some point, these illusions become a source of dopamine and, consequently, joy. Dopamine receptors do not distinguish between reality and vivid fantasies. Thus, instead of performing small joyful actions in real life (sports, walking, creativity), you begin to live in fantasies. While your former wife lives a real-life with another man, you lose the chance to meet true love.

7. Keep in touch with children

It so happened that in most cases, children remain with their mothers after the divorce of parents. As a result, a man has to experience a double loss – parting with his wife and children. Now he can communicate with kids only occasionally. When a child is old enough, the separation of the parents is easier for them and much less affects the psyche. But if the child is small, then both parents should carefully consider their line of behavior, so as not to injure the fragile psyche of their child.

How to choose the right strategy of behavior with your children? You should not shower them with expensive gifts, trying to compensate for your absence and dull the feeling of guilt with such behavior. The best option is to spend more time with children, take them to various interesting and informative places, and travel with them.

8. Attend group activities

Do not sit at home! It does not matter what you choose to do. The main thing is to learn something new and enjoy the process. For example, you can attend team sports classes. They distract from everyday problems and can help you keep yourself in good shape. Moreover, sport perfectly keeps up the spirit and tempers the strength of mind.

Lead an active life! Every week visit at least one public place with an entertainment purpose (cafe, restaurant, concert, exhibition, cinema, etc.). Accept invitations of your friends to go out and have fun somewhere (especially if there will be single girls among other guests). It is the best way on how to cope with being alone.

9. Open your heart, even though it hurts

Take advantage of the handicap principle. Amots Zehavi, the author of the principle, believed that information on the quality of the genome is carried by the features that make life more complicated. For example, a large tail size, too gaudy plumage, screams, excessively large horns – all this is a measure of the genome quality. It is more difficult for animals with such striking traits to hide and run away from predators, and only well-adapted individuals can live up to the moment of reproduction.

Let your experience of divorce become the handicap principle. After all, having survived the pain of betrayal, the collapse of illusions and plans, and the fall of self-esteem, to open your heart and continue to believe in love seems to be pure madness. But this madness is as absurdly bold as the excessively large and bright tail of a peacock. And only such a crazy brave heart wins a truly worthy prize! Every woman understands that if you are so fearless and strong, you can endure troubles and become a reliable support for a beloved woman.

10. Do not hesitate to seek help from an experienced specialist

A professional psychologist or psychotherapist can help draw constructive lessons from an experienced situation. A man, like a woman, does not tolerate loneliness. Not every representative of the stronger sex can find the strength to discover themselves and confide in a friend or relative. For most men, it is much easier to describe their emotional experiences in front of a stranger who, besides, is limited to professional ethics and will not discuss what they heard with anyone else.

Final Thoughts

As you can see, it is possible to meet a new love, even if you have just divorced. The main thing is to believe that now, you are a different person who is on the verge of a new happy life! You should perceive divorce as an incentive for a new meeting. Fate gives you another chance, so use it to the fullest! Smile at the new day, breathe deeply and feel freedom. You start a new life in which there is no place for loneliness. Try to understand that the fear of loneliness is just in your head. And thoughts can always be changed. You just need to follow our tips on how to get over loneliness and live after the divorce. Then you can believe in your strength again and become happy!

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