Advantages and Disadvantages of Abstinence in a Relationship

The intimate life of people is quite complicated. Scientists regularly conduct research in this field. We can give up tasty food to have good figure and addictive behavior in favor of strong health. But can we abandon sex?

Sex is an integral part of our life and the natural need of the body. With its help, people get emotional and physical relaxation, improve the state of their health. But people are different and we all have various sexual aspirations - one wants to make love as often as possible, and for others it’s enough only to get it once a year.

In addition, not everyone has the opportunity to make love - some can’t find their soul mate, others - set their mind in the right direction, some don’t know how to communicate with the opposite sex, and don’t understand whether they need sex at all, and the fourth don’t aspire to make love for some kind of ideology. In any case, they all keep abstinence. Firstly let’s answer one important question. What is abstinence and how to deal with it in a relationship with your loved one?

facts about abstinence

Definition of abstinence

Sexual abstinence - in the scientific medical language, sexual abstinence or deprivation, characterized by forced rest in sexual life. The reasons for abstinence can be different:

  • state of health;
  • absence of a partner for sexual relations;
  • spiritual practices;
  • upcoming competitions among athletes;
  • asexuality;
  • individual personal reasons.

Types of abstinence:

  • Partial abstinence - the impossibility of a real sexual intercourse is compensated by masturbation or nocturnal pollutions in men (spontaneous ejaculation).
  • Total abstinence - sexual activity is completely absent in all its manifestations.

Difference between celibacy and abstinence

Many people confuse these concepts and don’t understand the difference between abstinence and celibacy. Sexual abstinence is a voluntary refusal of sex for a certain period of time or throughout life. Abstinence can be temporary. In addition, it’s possible to abstain from sex, being in a relationship. But the real celibacy is the absence of both sex life and a partner. Celibacy is a mandatory vow, usually taken for religious reasons.

We’ve prepared for you pros and cons of abstinence and some interesting facts about abstinence that you probably don’t know.

Disadvantages of abstinence

Sexologists, psychologists and doctors say that long abstinence can have certain consequences for the body of both men and women. Especially young people are at risk. So, long abstinence is serious enough, because men suffer physically and women psychologically.

Consequences of sexual abstinence in men

Nervous disorders

In addition to neuroses and depressions, a man begins to feel himself unviable in sex. There are premature ejaculation, sleep disturbance and nocturnal pollutions. Particularly affected are men with a strong temperament.

how to practice abstinence in a relationshipDecreased potency

Men find it easier to satisfy themselves without having a permanent partner. If a man wants, then he finds, let's say, an object to satisfy his desires. Therefore, most often abstinence in men is forced - military service, army, hard physical work, illness. After that, there are problems with potency even in the youngest and physically healthy men.

Loss of sexual joy

If there is no sex there is no desire, no desire - no pleasure. Abstinence for men for more than a year, threatens stress for the body, and after such a break, the sexual functions of men may not improve.


Studies of sex therapists prove that young people who are used to masturbation before their normal sexual life can’t experience pleasure in sex. Such men have problems with interpersonal relations with women.

Poor sperm quality

The organism has to process the already formed seminal fluid and in return synthesize a new one. Gradually, the activity of spermatozoa decreases and eventually the body can completely stop their production.

Lack of oxygen

Like other organs, penis needs oxygenation. It’s during the functioning of the genital organs there is an increase in blood circulation and active oxygen saturation of all tissues.

Consequences of sexual abstinence in women

Many women sooner or later come to such moments when they have to endure sexual abstinence. And the reasons for such state of things can be very diverse. Sometimes a refusal can be made voluntarily, and sometimes it’s forced. There is an opinion that men need sex more than women. However, you shouldn’t believe it. Let’s look at side effects of abstinence for women.

Loss of orgasm

Often women complain about the absence of orgasm. Scientists have proved that in the absence of sex, the brain sends a signal to the body that it doesn't need sexual function. That is, the body gets used to it, or rather forgets what sex is and why it is needed. Therefore, a woman stops experiencing orgasm. To understand it better, imagine that you are an astronaut. Having been in space for a while, you return to Earth and can’t walk. Why? It's because your body just forgot how to do it.

Decreased immunity

Abstinence can also decrease female immunity. This can be explained by the fact that the blood of those who regularly have sex contains more immunoglobulin. In addition, during intimacy the bronchi relax, and the breathing during orgasm firstly becomes intermittent, and then deep. Blood is more enriched with oxygen.

Mental health can also suffer because of the lack of sexual contacts. The ability to think clearly is lost with time. Sex stimulates the brain and with its long absence a woman can’t clearly formulate her thoughts. During intimacy, the brain actively receives oxygen, which improves the ability to focus attention and think creatively.

Psychological disorders

The lack of sex leads to the accumulation of negative emotions, and it results in uncontrolled behavior and aggression. Perhaps you've heard how they talk about a nervous and emotionally uncontrolled woman. What exactly does she lack?

Health injury

Sexologists say that prolonged abstinence can cause serious and irreparable harm to health. Intimacy is the prevention of various gynecological diseases. Moreover, sex shouldn’t be neglected by those girls who plan to lose weight, as it contributes to the rapid burning of calories.

Sexual aversion

It’s important that the intimate life has the right frequency for you. All people are different, respectively the frequency of sexual acts for each is also different. Someone needs sex several times a day, for others, it will be enough once a week or even a month. The main thing that you should remember is that it isn’t necessary to force yourself and your body to have sex in the absence of desire. You don’t need to make sexual life a duty. It can lead to sexual aversion.

abstinence relationship tipsDepression

This is in part related to psychological disorders. Namely, a sexually unsatisfied woman begins to self-chastise and look for shortcomings, finds herself flawed and unattractive. Later she looks so due to developed depression.

Benefits of abstinence

Researchers have repeatedly come to the conclusion that sex is good for our health, because it contributes to the production of oxytocin, is a way to burn excess calories and improve spirit. Now we will tell you 7 reasons why abstinence in a relationship can also help strengthen health.

1. You will start the sublimation process

It’s one of the most important advantages of abstinence. If a person refrains from sexual contacts, natural sublimation occurs, that is, the direction of unspent sexual energy to create something new, to work with spiritual or material values. Then this person has an irresistible desire to actively engage in creativity, study, work, social activities. So, don’t waste time, improve yourself and the result won't be long in coming.

2. You will become stronger

People practicing abstinence cope with powerful sexual urges that weaken the body. As soon as these desires disappear, a person becomes stronger. There is also a connection between such urges and ailments, so women without sex get sick less often. Professional athletes are often asked not to have sex before responsible competitions, so as not to feel exhausted.

3. You will gain self-confidence

At first glance, this assumption sounds somewhat paradoxical and even mocking. However, for so many people their own self-confidence depends solely on how they are treated by others. The fact is that people around you really think you're sexy. And if not, then you can focus on some other things in life to get rid of self-doubt.

4. You will gain self-control

Abstinence in a relationship requires suppressing sexual urges that is, gaining a stronger control over your body and mind. It will benefit all aspects of your life, allowing you to become more responsible, moderate and conscious, and your work won’t be so annoying.

5. You will be less likely to get sick

Obviously, the less you have sex, the lower the risk of catching some sexually transmitted disease. For women, this is a good reason not to panic, indulging in thoughts of unintended pregnancy.

6. You will have more free time

Undoubtedly, abstinence will give you more time to communicate with friends and practice your favorite activities. And it will also allow you to change your life priorities.

7. You will exacerbate your feelings

Temporary sexual abstinence in a relationship exacerbates feelings. Breaks in intimate communication with your partner are useful - they make the heart yearn in pleasurable anticipation, looking forward to an imminent meeting. And during the time of forced separation, you can think about how to diversify your sex life. It’s one of the best benefits of abstinence in a relationship that will make you love each other much stronger.

How to practice abstinence in a relationship?

If for some reason a person has made a decision about temporary sexual abstinence (fasting, spiritual practices, parting with his loved one for the duration of a business trip), how can he survive this period less painfully and learn to reduce the intensity of passions? It’s important to remember that moderate abstinence from sexual activity is sometimes beneficial to the body.

What can help for practicing abstinence in a relationship:

  • focusing on spiritual growth and self-improvement;
  • development of artistic skills and creativity;
  • practicing various techniques of meditation (contemplation, dynamic meditation);
  • understanding and support of a loved one;
  • engaging in active sports.
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