How soon is too soon to move in together?

Before making the offer she can't refuse, you should try yourself out in a practical living together because it’s a less trivial process than staying over for a night at her place so often that you rarely step inside your bachelor pad. Relocating to one area is an important milestone, a real test of your commitment and the possibility of living together. But what is more important is to do it at the right time. 

Hastening your move toward your better half can be traumatic if made prematurely. It might end up splitting up your collectively acquired stuff through the years of dating, which is a giant leap back. Conversely, creating a family is the final point on your path of finding and distinguishing a mildly disordered personality that matches yours.

A family creates a secure environment for stretching your genetic code to the future, making the ancestry honor your wisdom and posterity honor your potency. A family man's life is more fulfilled than a one-shot womanizing trip, more rewarding than a single-minded pursuit of a career. It's more of a journey back to your childhood, adolescence, and adult years, which is your reviving in and reliving with your kids first, then with theirs.

To make this foundation stable, you must ensure the woman you want to move in with has a more substantial chance of making a good wife of yours than a chick next door shooting glances at you. Cohabitation could be a pre-marriage test drive that creates an environment for a more significant acknowledgment of your virtues or flaws. Exposure will help you learn how to collaborate and share your living space.

What to do and not to do before you move in together

You should learn to deal with it as with a current life on trial, not wasting time for someone unexpectable in everyday routine and hence unacceptable for your genesis. But it’s worth it before you take anything she does for you (or the opposite) for granted. Beware of yourself longing for home, as no man calls home a place without a woman sowing the seeds of love shutting out the Super Bowl. 
 
You’ll have enough time to get settled, but before you welcome your muse into your shelter, you better:

Ensure your goals match

Some people think the date you begin sharing square feet is the first day of your eternal living together, but the "forever yours" position is illusional. Before setting a common goal based on understanding where you want the relationship to move on, you never know where to go. The love you share doesn't have to be emerging in two twin-like individuals free of distinctions like susceptibility or adaptivity.

Neither of you is more flexible than the other regarding demarcating a personal space, like a fair division of your bed predetermined by the left-right political spectrum. You aren’t wired to negotiate much about the future — you might not be on the same page yet, but hopefully, none of you wants to share the same bed with the wrong person. If you’re hesitating about marrying her, you must articulate that upfront before you move in.

You must know what stage you’re at and agree about it, not concealing contradictions. For a woman, a feeling of deception from your side could result from miscommunication with you. Before setting up goals, ensure you understand each step on your way to the creation of a sound family unit.

Articulate your fears freely

Although these fears are well-researched, many people still feel anxious about sharing their days and weeks with the one they love. Some women are too reserved — afraid of losing their loneliness, accidentally called freedom, subconsciously striving for strong family bonds and better with their type of guy. You’ll recognize her always involuntary chronic and never voluntary situational independence, which she hates with her entire essence.

In contrast, what could cause you, a fabulous screwball and crackpot, to surrender your freedom? Either her tangible property or any other assets you find mesmerizing that she can use to control your actions or trigger obedience. It would help if you acknowledged all existing risks you physically feel and put a rescue plan for the worst-case scenarios in place. 

Securing financial independence will minimize your fears of being a prosperous family guy, as your winning strategy is perfect. For her, assuring her financial freedom will minimize her fears and prevent tears in case your strategy is a loss. For both of you, teaming up for a challenging life-long journey is worth every minute because the reward is the unconditional love you will eventually share.

Don’t set strict boundaries

You probably had such a dramatic experience as sharing your room with an individual of not just different sex but a whole different set of genes. The chick was someone you had dated for a long time but felt tempted to carry on the way feeling her closer. That was your choice, with all responsibilities for your mutual future, but it didn’t work out — were your boundaries too long?

Setting wrong boundaries could be as detrimental as setting no limitations at all — your inconsistency and poor leadership will spoil her. While sharing Facebook passwords or frequent texting could cause a constitutional quirk, you could easily transcend your taboos about kissing and holding hands in public. However, inviting a bunch of friends for a barbecue must be approved by both parties, especially if you can’t ignore some of her pushy male fans. 

The way you treat each other during your first year together is something she’ll remember, and she either feels stunned by how fully you have accepted a set of her sacrosanct freedoms or shocked by your barriers. Ensure you set boundaries based on proper communication and understand all the preliminary requests and purposes. She could be more chaotic while you’re more of a planner type (what you get paid for), but this doesn’t mean her sporadic methodical approach won’t make you pretend to be more flexible and spontaneous.

Why it’s essential to make the place a new home, saving the old one

Whether you're moving into her place or she’s into yours (a better scenario), you need to secure a comfortable, native environment for one another. But if she wants to fry eggs in your bed from now on — who wouldn’t mind? She's not as good a cook as you, but the process is worth it. Before she stepped in, beware: her majesty might insist on narrowing and swallowing your harbor to keep your cute and occasionally stripped aborigines offshore. Getting rid of your past is her number one impossible mission, among others on demand. Won’t you rat out your spacious and generous friend, a silent witness of your honor and shame?

Sometimes you must help your future throw your past onto the trash heap of your personal history, anything before her birth. Your residence, made in your image and likeness, will be ruined in the name of somebody defined by a word of four letters. What you get in return could be a more semantically versatile four letter-word — both you deserve.

Enjoy each other’s charm traveling together before settling down

Traveling together before your first full-length week develops a tolerance for your partner’s bizarre narcissistic habits and wisdom to accept those, usually forgetting about your glittering hedonism. You might appear in uncomfortable situations where your expertise and capability to respond to contingencies help avoid unexpected frustrations. Such an experience is way more fulfilling than traditional dates.

Then, you will retain her for a week to continue savoring the scent of your woman the following seven days — and God is your witness. Once you reach a mutual understanding of midweek menus and more intimate demands, your alter egos won't be downgrading one another, coexisting less dramatically. Staying at your place won’t drastically increase her primeval vulnerability by labeling your power as predatory.

It isn’t rocket science, but an unsupervised process may cause a time-sensitive deterioration in young couples solving the ethical dilemma — “should I stay or should I go.” Going outside could change your usual downtime to chill. Besides, signing in the rain is only possible during significant emotional upheaval when nature works to boost your love. 

Try to secure your intimacy from facing the routine

While you don’t have to date her all year round any longer, it looks like living together is a less intriguing perpetual process of capturing the attention of one another. It may look like you have been living together for ages, more or less chaotically and with some erratic feelings, but now you have to coexist in a paralleled schedule. Your obstinate focus on reconciling routines will not only mess up your pilot honeymoon but might grow into a lifestyle that eliminates things you love.

She anticipates you to lead a team of two mates learning about each other, and this knowledge reflects in everything they do, including sex. Unbosoming yourself to her ultimately brings more empathy to your relationship, but this in no way means you should stop going deeper. Don't linger to inquire about her views of the final destination pointed at her palm.

A trustworthy partnership helps you unfold and elaborate on joint creativity to chart a deeper emotional path to a non-turbulent intimate connection. Your collective mind can guess your collective heart's true desires in a breeze if you’re not concealing anything relevant. But beware of codependency that refutes your individualities.

Conclusion: too soon or not too soon enough?

Nobody knows for sure if their relationship plays long until the breakup. A thin line between love and hate becomes thinner once you detect her thongs in your basket that put a smile on your face. If you're both happy with that — your communicative abilities have worked out beautifully. 

Some say the world has changed, and what was your backbone — college, job, family — such chronological order doesn’t work, and you must embrace that change. Look into the eyes of this young sweety and ask yourself if her love for you is worth taking the risk without precautionary steps to recapture your aging tranquility. Thousand times, yes — the love of a woman works the same as it used to fifty years ago, no matter how many new sexes have emerged on the starving planet ever since.

More importantly, if your collaboration builds dedication and trust 24/7, not digging the abyss between the desirable and the achievable but investing in the future family unit — you did everything right. The basic instinct will soon fade away, but your aspiration to share a great conversation with an intelligent woman you want to spend the rest of your life with won't disappear. Some things never change no matter how hard you try, but remember that your plea for solitude is never delayed.