How to Date a Single Mom: A Guide for a Real Man

Dating a single mom is a real challenge. But, as challenges go, it is absolutely worth it. You definitely shouldn’t just skip this option because she has kids. Better believe that there are a lot of advantages and benefits that go along with laundry, diapers, and mature life.

Single moms are very attractive because they have special qualities other women simply do not possess. Certain men will more likely get by with a single mom than with any other woman.

What Makes a Single Mom So Special?

A single mom is not just your average girlfriend. She is a mature and independent woman. The amount of her responsibility speaks louder than her age. She might even be younger than you but having a child by her side makes you at least equal. Some things depend on whether you have kids yourself. If you do, then you two definitely have a point of connection.

Single mothers are very confident, loyal, patient, and committed. It is hard enough to have a child but it is twice as hard to have it on your own being a woman. You should remember this before, after, and in the process of dating a single mom. Single moms dating guys have other criteria for their boyfriends. It is obvious that a single mother doesn't look for something that is not serious. So, if you’re not committed enough, you better skedaddle for the sake of her and your own.

A Huge Responsibility

Single moms are special because their difficult experience works for their individual growth. Never forget that dating a single mom is a serious responsibility. Relationships with partners ready to make a commitment are serious enough. That’s why single moms are ostracized on dating sites and in life. Single moms dating men have huge demands and cannot instantly place you before their kids because their kids are the most precious what they have at the time, not you. Nevertheless, it does not mean that you can’t become a part of a family. It’s just that the stakes are higher and you will be expected to meet more demands.

Being a Stepfather

Keep in mind that you are a potential candidate for being a stepfather. Think about everything that comes with it. Ask yourself these questions: will you be able to love her child as yours? How will you handle competition with her child and the role of provider? Single moms are very caring. They are naturally more caring and can make you feel really comfortable. You can also have a lot of time for yourself because even in the early stages of your relationship there won’t be a lot of time for just you two. Be ready to skip the passionate part and think again if you really are ready to make a commitment.

Single moms are very loyal. They understand how difficult it is for you to accept not only them but their children as well. Even though it all might seem positive and optimistic, a lot of people, counselors say, fall apart because they are unable to fit. So, not to cause stress, always keep in mind what you are doing and why. Surely, an innocent child is not a reason the two grown-ups in love cannot be together.

Prepare to Do Some Good Work

Single moms are special because they do a double amount of work. You will be amazed by her ability to organize, plan, clean, cook, and handle everything. That means you will be expected to keep up and do as much as she does which is probably more than you do now. Having a kid is a responsibility that changes a woman motivating her towards self-growth. It means that she already made some important life choices like having a family. Do not hesitate and act like you don’t think about your future. The question is not about whether you’re in your thirties or twenties because having a kid is a central point. You will be tested on your ability to be a father.

Everything You Need to Know About Single Mom Dating

Tips for Dating a Single Mom Dating a single mom is not all about responsibilities. If you play your cards right, you might experience some incredibly pleasant benefits. For example, because single moms are more experienced they can do a lot themselves giving you time to do your own things. It is not at all like dating a girl who doesn’t know how to deal with an internet cable or coffee machine. A single mother would most probably do these and a million other things herself because she can. Single moms also do more because they are independent and because life made them rely on themselves. Here are some other tips for dating a single mom.

Don’t Badmouth Her Ex

Never talk bad about her ex. You simply can’t do it because he is probably still a huge part of her life. In any case, she is seeing him regularly. Finally, you don’t want to create tension between her child and the father. Your first and most important role is husband provided that her ex is alive and well. Even if she has a full custody and does not talk to him, still better be quiet about her ex and do not yell a classic mistake: “it was very bad of him to leave you”. If you have the urge, do it when there is no child around. Still, you better not because she knows him much better than you, anyway.

Think About Self-Growth

What you need to know about single mom and dating is that it can significantly improve your life. Don’t listen to the clichés such as “she has a burden too heavy for you” or “her child is not your child”. Think of it as a challenge which can encourage you. Responsibilities come with benefits. These benefits include your potential growth into a family man. You have a unique opportunity of trying to understand what makes your own family feels like before involving yourself in it completely. Try it and stick to it if you like it. But don’t make a common mistake and just avoid women who are much more interesting than most of them.

You Can Learn How to Be Around a Child

You can try being a father before actually becoming one. This is a truly rare chance. Some men think they want to be fathers until they actually become ones. In our days, not everybody is fit to be a parent even though we are naturally predisposed to it. Think of this advantage: you can train to be a father and in the process of training decide whether you want a family or not.

How to Date a Single Mom?

Before going on a date with a single mom, think about everything that was said before. Put on your best suit or clothes which make you comfortable. This advice is universal – always be confident. A single mom is a confident woman. The circumstances of her life made her so. So, you have twice as more reasons to be confident around such woman to appear as a reliable man. Some single moms reported they were asked whether they considered an abortion. You should never ask such a silly thing for obvious reasons.

When you date a single mom, not every typical dating advice seems to work. For example, a single mom is not really interested in the diverse dating experience which includes drinking, dancing, and others ways of going out. She is more interested in you without distractions like watching movies or going to a party. Most probably, you will spend a lot of time at her place because that is where her child lives.

Not a Typical Dating

To learn how to date a single mom means to learn how to be a real man. It is one thing to date a girl which may not consider you as her husband. It is completely another thing to date a woman who looks for a man to support herself and her child. Therefore, your role is not that of a seducer or an entertainer but of a supporter. You will be graded on your ability to support a single mother you wish to date.

Learn How to Look Past Her Motherhood

When a woman is dating as a single mom she looks for a new husband. She does not just look for a husband per se. She already had one and it did not work. Actually, she looks for a partner. Logically, she will have more doubts about a new partner expecting him to meet her crucial demands. One of the most important demands is to be desired as a woman. Yes, she is a single mother, independent, self-reliable, responsible, and demanding. However, she is a woman who needs love and care just like anybody else. Therefore, do not treat her like a single mom all the time. Try to forget this fact and be attentive to what you really like about her.

Become a Friend of Her Kid

This is the most common advice when the subject is single mom and dating. By befriending her kid you only prove yourself to be good with kids. The benefits of doing so include creating a bond between you and a single mother you are dating. She is more likely to have a connection with if you pay effort to make a connection with her child. Well, at some point you just won’t have any other option but to meet her kids and be friendly with them. Becoming their friend makes her more likely to be attracted to you.

Bring Her Kid a Present

This is also a typical advice. It may sound as a bribe but it works when it is sincere. Pay a certain amount of attention to her child. If you still haven’t met her kid, express your desire to be around her family. Make a present so her child remembers you among other possible partners before or after. It can be something small or something big but do it moderately not to look like you’re trying to buy her kid off. Be wise about what present you make and when you make it.

Spend Some Fun Time with Her and Her Kid

If everything is good, at some point in your relationship you will be asked to meet her kid/kids. You better ask to do it yourself so she would think that your decision is completely honest and sincere. Having her kid around when you spend your time together may not sound romantic. However, the bonding experience will make you feel like a family which is more important in a long-term perspective. Obviously, you can’t ignore her child and she won’t tolerate it. There is absolutely no way for you to love her and not to love her child. So, be a man and act first – ask her out with her kid.