Single Dad's Dating Rules 2017

Not all men are ready to meet a single mother, and, of course, not everyone is ready to marry a woman who already has a child. This is the reality faced by millions of women, but when it comes to a single father, the situation is changing. Women, in general, are much more tolerant of the presence of "baggage" in the form of a child, and some even knowingly want to get acquainted with a single father. Relations with such men have their own peculiarities and pitfalls.

How to communicate with a single father in order not to scare him away and how to properly build relationships with his child - read about it in our new article.

Introduction: Single Dads and Dating - Possible Obstacles and Pitfalls

Someone with the words "single dads dating" immediately imagines the hero of the movie "Sleepless in Seattle" performed by Tom Hanks - a grieving widower with a little son looking for his dad's new wife. But we all understand that cinema is not a real life, and in reality, single fathers are very, very different, just like single mothers. You do not say that all single women with children are similar to each other?

In single dads dating, everything also happens very differently because men become single fathers for various reasons: someone was widowed, someone himself "won" the children from the ex-wife, someone decided to take the children themselves not to pay alimony (especially if it is a rich man).

But there are a number of common features that distinguish dating as a single dad - for example, single fathers are generally more responsible and more restrained. After all, raising a child is a real school of life, when every day you have to learn something new and cope with new difficulties. If you have a child, then you yourself know perfectly well how the character changes because of the need to take care of your beloved and such a dependent creature from you every day. So, of course, men, independently raising a child, are different from ordinary men, and, at first glance, this is a huge plus.

However, single dad dating is much more complicated. Prepare yourself that you need to go through a complicated path. Most women complain about how difficult it was at the initial stage of family life, but these stories will seem like children's babble because your task is much more difficult. But the reward, which in the end awaits the most stubborn ladies, is very valuable. In addition, regardless of the outcome of your venture, you will gain an invaluable experience that will not be a dead weight in the backyard of your consciousness, but which you can use in everyday life. So think about it before visiting a single dad dating site.

Such man is more understanding, more tolerant, more responsible, he is better aware of the consequences of his actions. At the same time, there is one significant drawback - a child for such man is likely to be in the first place, and it is you, not the man, who will have to adjust. In addition, taking some decision, he will primarily focus on the child.

By the way, the opinion that all single fathers are looking for a new mother for their child is in most cases erroneous, especially if the real mother is alive. In fact, just like ordinary men, single fathers primarily look for life partners, a beloved, who can share with him the difficulties of living together and the moments of joy. In any case, do not try to pretend to be a caring mother, especially if you do not have your children.

Single Dad's Pivotal Dating Rules

If you want to please a single father and be successful in single dads dating, first of all you need to learn to listen very carefully to everything that he says. Since you are dating a single dad, this will help you understand in what role he sees you and, accordingly, what kind of behavior from you is expected. The main thing is not to pressure or force things themselves, as far as communication with the child is concerned. Let the man lead, and you just follow him. By the way, if he introduced you to his child and offered to spend time together, this already indicates the seriousness of his intentions.

For a child, a constant change of "moms" can be very traumatic, and most single dads understand this, so they will not be introduced to each of their partners. Dating as a single dad means to avoid things that may hurt children at all cost. As it’s been already mentioned, do not try to be an ideal mother, especially if it does not fit your character - it can alienate both the father and the child. Do not fully focus on the child, showing feelings that are not yet born.

Note also that a man learned to behave in the presence of a child and to adjust his behavior almost from his kid’s birth, and you will have to master this science from scratch. Prepare for the fact that you will make mistakes - and here it is important not to stand in a pose from the principle, but to admit that you are wrong and you may not know something about the upbringing of children.

Communication with a man and his child, in general, is a bit like a walk across the minefield, and in this sense, single mothers are easier, although here there are problems in the form of a mismatch of views on the upbringing and compatibility of the characters of children. It has been repeatedly said that men are not looking for a second mother to a child, but they do not need a second "child" either. Dating as a single dad is all about other things and we will speak about them soon.

Most single dads would like to see next to them a patient and understanding woman who will not compete with the child for his time, money, attention, and love. We decided to generalize the information about the single fathers and make a list of rules. Focus on these tips for dating single dads and you can avoid the mistakes that almost all women make entering into a romantic relationship with a single father:

1. Understand the situation. First of all, it is necessary to realistically assess the situation. A single father does not have a lot of free time, and his finances are spent, above all, on children, and not on visits to restaurants and trips. Think about whether you are emotionally prepared for possible complications before you meet children, then you will not hurt anyone.
2. Prepare to be on second place. Listen carefully to our single dad dating advice: when it comes to money or time, accept the fact that in its list of priorities you will be in second place. You should not be offended by this state of affairs, and you should not pretend to be a victim. If you cannot accept this, just do not date with a single father.
3. Do not be jealous of him. If his ex did not leave this world otherwise, you will have to accept the fact that he continues to communicate with her because of the children. There is a connection between them, and he can sometimes recall good times spent together, but your jealousy and fears will not improve the situation. If he makes it clear that you are important to him, do not disturb your nerves with suspicions. Dating for single dads is not just a game, so he will not waste your time since he still has feelings for his ex. So stay calm.
4. Realize your advantages. If you do not have your children, it is very important to learn how to communicate with a single dad correctly and to realize your advantages. Children bring moral satisfaction, but also require a lot of time. Therefore, their father can fall out of social life. So you should not shame him for not knowing the latest shows or films.
5. Respect his limitations. It is very important to respect his limitations when it comes to children. He may have special views on their upbringing or he can not break the promise to attend a children's performance. It is important to take his point of view in these matters and not to try to force him to act in your interests.
6. Do not criticize him as a parent. There is little that infuriates parents like the advice of childless people about upbringing. To date a single father means to accept all his decisions concerning children. If you want to add something, say it calmly and unobtrusively, and in no case in front of the children.
7. Be able to listen. Even if he always copes with his responsibilities, he still needs to release steam from time to time. If sometimes children get him crazy, it does not mean that he does not like them more than anything else. Support him when he wants to talk about his problems, and sincerely sympathize.
8. Accept the fact that he does not always look 100%. Like single mothers do not always look perfect on dates, so single dads may have certain problems with this. If you really want to meet with him, do not pay attention to minor shortcomings of his appearance.
9. Behave naturally with the children. Little children unerringly recognize pretense, so just be yourself. If they do not make contact at the first meeting, do not try to buy their favor with gifts. A bad beginning can always be corrected, most importantly, do not pretend and give the children the time they need to accept you as a part of their lives.
10. Do not force yourself to be a mummy. The worst thing you can do when dating a single father is to start playing the role of mother for his children too quickly. It may take them a long time to accept you, so do not rush things, otherwise you will ruin the relationship with them and with their father.

Sum Up

It's time to make some conclusions. So, we found out that a relationship with a single father is a difficult undertaking. It requires from you certain qualities, which not every woman can boast of. Relations with a single father are very different from those of a normal man, and perhaps the most important rules have already been formulated in the previous section: do not try to replace their mother, do not force events, and do not compete with his child.

It is also very important to understand that some things you do and what seems to you right and natural cannot please your single dad and cause irritation and rejection in the child and will be perceived by them as a threat.

To go through this difficult path, you need to clearly understand why you need it. Otherwise, you just do not have enough moral strength. So, you do all this not because of boredom? Are you motivated only by love for this person? Then remind yourself about this more often. You will have to try on the role of a Buddhist - the success of your whole venture largely depends on whether you can ignore your ego and your needs. In this case, you need to balance "somewhere in between": outright flattery and the desire to please at any opportunity is unlikely to attract a man, much less a single father.

Do you know what such men value most? This is respect. It keeps the world of such men - if it does not exist, everything around will collapse. Just imagine: a beautiful, healthy representative of the strong half of humanity remains alone, with a child in his arms, whom he is forced to bring up without the most important person in life - his mother. Such man needs something to hold on. It is vital for him to understand that others do not see him as a loser but as a person who deserves respect. Who walks through life with a proud head, whose vector of interests is directed to the noblest goal, which can only be - the upbringing of a small human being, destined to become a worthy member of society. Perhaps you are the woman that he needs. He will love you twice as much as anyone else because you appeared as a gift from Heaven, at the very right moment. But for this you will have to show some efforts. The choice is yours.