Texting after Your First Date & Other Post-First-Date Problems

Initially, the relationship can be slightly awkward, especially after a first date. Listen to your feelings to determine your next actions. Think about whether you want to go on a date again, and if the answer is positive, then tell your date about it. At the initial stage of the relationship, some awkwardness may remain, but a few tips will help you smooth it out to fully enjoy each other's company after the first date.

Remember that this is just the first date. People sometimes like to rush to conclusions after the first meeting. When trying to make an impression of the meeting, do it from different perspectives. It's just one date. If you did not like it very much, or vice versa, you had a wonderful time, remember that this is only one date, and do not make any conclusions. Even if a spark does not break out between you two initially, it does not mean that it makes no sense to meet this person anymore.

If you had a good time, give them a second chance, unless, of course, there were any obvious alarm signals. Even if the date has surpassed all of your expectations, remember, this is only one date and, perhaps, she has not developed the same attraction to you as you have to her. You are not yet in a relationship, so do not rush to conclusions about the possible future of your relationship. This is important to remember when texting someone after the date.

text after first date

Texting after your first date: perfect timing and messages.

After the meeting, the woman herself should get lost in her thoughts: did I like him, and what did he think about me, how I behaved at that moment and so on.

On the same day or a day after the meeting, you can send a text message that intrigues and provokes the woman to respond. According to the answer, it will be possible to determine how interested you were on a date

Write a simple message that you had a great time. This is in case you are interested in a relationship. There is no need to vent all your feelings about the wonderful pastime you had. A simple and easy-going message will be enough. For example: "I had a great time, I hope we will see each other again soon." It is not necessary to wait three days, as it was customary before. This is a ridiculous rule. You can write a message right after coming home after a date or on the next day.

Communicate via social networks. But only in the event that you are already on each other friend lists. You can respond to a tweet or make a post on Facebook or VKontakte. This will show the woman that you are interested in further communication. If you have not previously communicated in social networks, a sudden addition to the list of friends may seem a little intrusive, so have some patience and wait out a few more dates before adding them, unless, of course, they do that first.

When to call after the first date

Calling and texting after the first date is a must. Men seem to put way too much emphasis on when to call a woman after a date. If you had a good time with a woman, it makes perfect sense for you to want to call her. Remember that women have feelings, and you just cannot resort to old suggestions like waiting a couple of days to do what you already feel like doing. Women do not like having to wait and they most definitely do not like to be part of an insecure chase. Her newly gained excitement for you can easily turn into anger and frustration because you took too long to call her. If you wonder when to text a girl after a first date, pay attention.

what to text after first dateThere are basically 4 options on when to call her. Call her the same night, the day after, after two days, and during a week.

Truth be told, if it takes you more than 3 days to call your date, then it is obvious you have no interest in her, and she understood that by your silence. Even if you do call her for some reason, she will already be thinking of you as some player or jerk, simply wanting to get it on. If you do not want to go out with her again, be a man and tell her about it. No need to keep a woman waiting in suspension for such a long time, she will despise you by then. If you want to bother her by texting after the first date waiting a couple of days- don't bother.

On the other hand, if you had one of the best nights of your life and you know she shares these feelings, there is absolutely nothing wrong in giving her a call that very same night, especially because she will be waiting for it. When to text after a first date? If you are not sure whether she has fallen for you yet or not, a safer option is to simply text her the same night. For example, by texting her a simple thank you text after the first date and asking if she made it home safe, you are already opening the door for a conversation to take place, and if she wastes no time responding back to you, you can be assured she is very much into you. This should answer your question as to what to text after the first date.

If you have the suspicion that she is still mostly neutral to you, it is always safe to call her next day. This will let her know that you have been thinking about her and this will bring a smile to her face. Even if she had any doubts over your opinion of her, they will be vanquished by your call, and even better, she will grow even more attracted to you.

The third option is to call her after two days. This is considered to be playing by the rules of the book. By this time, she will have doubts as to whether you like her or not. It is best not to go this far, since her insecurities may have had enough time to grow into annoyance with you. Even if she did like you, she will begin to treat you in the same hard to get manner, except this time you will suffer.

If you do not feel any connection, politely tell her about it. If you do not want to see her again, it's worth mentioning this. This is especially important if a person shows further interest in you. Wait about 24 hours, and then write, for example, the following message: "I had a good time with you, but did not feel the connection. I'm sorry." This should give you some insight into when to text a girl after a first date.

How to ask her out on a second date

Many men wonder what to do after a first date and what to expect after a first date. The second date is probably one of the critical points in the process of courting when the future fate of your relationship is being decided. If the woman agrees to go out, this means that she is most definitely interested in you in one way or another. However, there are often situations when she seems to like you on the first date but then doubts whether to go for the second time. At this moment, your ability to invite a woman to a second date will play a decisive role.

A man must be the first one to contact after a first date. When it's time to make a call, calm down and realize that there is nothing special in that the woman agrees to come to a second date. In fact, to attach great importance to her consent is not simply worth it, because this lets a woman feel how important she is to you, which is not recommended in the early stages of a relationship. You have to catch a certain state in your attitude, when you want to meet with her, are sure that she wants it too, but you will not be upset if she refuses. Try to catch this mood, because a lot will depend on it - whether she will agree to a second date or not.

Before you invite her to the second date, just talk. Use your sense of humor, amuse her, tell a couple of stories that happened to you in the last days after the first date. And only then make an invitation. To create a sense of trust, use the words "I want to see." If you asked her out on the first date with the word "I suggest", now, to build trust, you should use these words.

When you are going to tell her about the place of your meeting, be sure to do it confidently, without hesitation. As if you had a date at that place already more than a hundred times. This is important because the woman decides to agree not based on the place of the meeting, but rather on your confidence. After reading this, you will know what to do after a first date.

After a first date, who should contact first

According to standards of life, a guy should always be the first to take the initiative in communication. It is considered that the girl who first writes to a man is frivolous and intrusive. So, the ladies are looking forward to the first step from men.

If a guy really liked a woman, he has to definitely tell her about it, otherwise, he simply risks missing his chance. Even the refusal that he can receive in return will not be as disappointed as male cowardice. Just imagine that you didn’t dare to start a dialogue with the girl you liked, and then you would think that happiness was almost in your hands and you missed it.

Some men prefer to avoid taking the initiative for fear of being intrusive. However, you must remember that your initiative will not be considered negatively. Women love brave men. Remember one thing: if you really liked this or that person, you shouldn’t torture yourself with what is right and what is not. Do what you want. Remember that life is too short and unpredictable, so you may not have another chance.

after the first date rules for menMistakes to avoid

There are many after the first date rules for men. Do not take it too far with your messages and overuse them. If a person does not respond immediately or gives short answers, you may have overdone it. It is quite normal to send a lot of messages to a person if they support your style of correspondence, but if there is no answer on their part, then it's better to slow down a little. You do not want to seem desperate, it can scare a woman away.

Calling is not for everyone. Nowadays very few people use this type of communication, especially if you go on dates. Most young people prefer to communicate through messages, so it is better to stick to this mode of communication. However, if you are older, then the phone call will be quite appropriate. If your date previously mentioned that she prefers this method of communication, obviously it is better to call.

Stay away from social networking sites. As mentioned above, if you are already on the list of friends, then this is normal. But if not, then do not add a person to friends on Facebook, VKontakte or subscribe to their Instagram. Also, try not to stalk them and investigate all the information you can find about her in her profiles on social networks, since you can start to analyze things in too much detail, which, probably, will lead you to the wrong conclusions.

Keep in touch with other potential partners. If the first date went well, it does not mean that you are already dating. If you are interested in someone else, then it is worth keeping in touch with them. This relationship may not work out, so it will not hurt to have a couple of options just in case.

If you really liked the woman, then there can be a lot of inappropriate actions in the heat of the moment after your date. Even if the woman liked you very much during the date, your behavior after the meeting may still frighten her, and she will not want to meet for the second time. The most common mistake after a date is for you to immediately call her, and on the wave of emotions tell her how much you liked her, say how cool it was and ask when you can see her next time. This should not be done in any case. This behavior shows the woman that you are heavily into her, and that you have no other options, but her. Thus, you become an accessible guy, and your new date understands that she can manipulate and control you in whichever way she wants. Furthermore, she is not that interested already.

What to text after a first date

You can restrict to a simple and brief « thanks for the evening, it was cool! » You can act according to the situation: if you called a taxi for her, check if she got to home normally, and if she was worried that her hamster would die of hunger, ask if he was too angry with her (we hope she does have a hamster and it wasn't about her husband). In general, just be as honest as possible. Are you pleased to be with her, and you caught yourself thinking that she was cool? Tell her about it! And, of course, feel free to answer if she decided to thank you for this wonderful evening. And now let’s talk about some more specific tips on what to text after a first date.

To write or to call? Previously, there were no such options - either you are calling, or you are writing SMS. Now it is possible to switch from Viber to Telegram all day long, and from there to private messages in Insta and comments on YouTube. But, calling a girl still demonstrates your courage and self-confidence, makes you stand out from the crowd, although it may be perceived by some as too straightforward and selfish. Online correspondence has its advantages - on the one hand, it is comfortable for both parties, and on the other, your message can easily get lost in the whirlpool of others, so don’t be surprised if she, oh no, forgets to answer. But social media are still cool because texting after the first date can get quite intimidating and you have plenty of time to think over what you want to write and there is no place for awkward silence as during a call.

In general, it is usually assumed this way: if she is over 30, she seemed talkative to you and you have a pleasant voice - call. If she is young enough and on a date, she was behaving not so openly – better text. But write not something so neutral, like “let's go somewhere”, but quite specific - “I want to see you” or “I just came to realize, it seems I missed you”.

what to do after a first date No sexting. Yes, yes, you probably think: “What kind of idiot would send a photo of his little hidden friend to a girl after the first meeting?” You can expect anything from yourself in such a situation. But even if everything went perfectly and even if you kissed her, keep yourself together and know the limits placing your phone deeper in your pocket. Sexting is a pretty slippery idea. And if in a conversation you suddenly realize that it is inevitable, the first photo should definitely arrive not from your side. However, it is better to bear it, the whole rush of first dates is in the intrigue. And when you have already seen everything, there is no place for fantasies.

Do not overuse loud words about your feelings. The first meeting, of course, lays 90% of the foundation for your further communication. But this does not mean that you should immediately confess to a girl in love and stun her with lofty compliments, even if you liked her madly. She can feel awkward and do not know how to answer to your promises of eternal feelings or supply think you must be joking and start to ignore you. Of course, there is nothing wrong in giving compliments, but to pull out all aces out of holes at once would be just silly. And if your entire conversation consists of slobbering flashbacks for the first meeting in the style of “your eyes glittered like two diamonds” and “I cannot forget how you moved gracefully on the dance floor,” you will not go far. Memories should only push you forward, not pull back.

Fewer calculations. The main question that arises after a successful first date - when to text after the first date? Each of your friends will surely find a brilliant formula for calculating the time from the end of the date to the accompanying message. But all this is complete nonsense. Messages are the only thing you really don't need to think about. Write to her whenever you want, but only if you really have something to say. Not a single girl, having seen your message, will immediately read it even if she has notifications on. But do not abuse texting, write her just to remind that you are still there waiting for her answer and that you value the time you have spent together. She remembers you for sure if it didn’t take you half a year to decide to write.

Turn of the daddy-mode. All girls love caring men but on the first date, too much care and love can spoil the whole image. Understand correctly: your goal is to create sexual tension, and not to convince a girl that you will make her herbal tea if she catches a cold. Daddy in bed is one thing, and daddy on the first date is the least sexy being. So, think twice before throwing the phrase "write to me when you get home!". Someone will certainly appreciate such attention, but in most cases, girls will get the wrong signals from you. Save your care at least until the fifth meeting. You can and should ask about how she got home after you last seen each other but to do it more on the side of humor.

If you are being ignored. Sometimes it happens that she seems to be in touch and keeps talking to you, as usual, but, no matter how hard you want to move to another stage, she refuses your offers concerning the second date. Today, she has a mountain of paperwork at the office, tomorrow - fitness, on Wednesday - her friend's birthday, on Thursday - an earthquake, and on Friday you decided to call, but she did not pick up the phone. You should not deceive yourself: you know perfectly well what it means. For the final try, you can, of course, try to ignore her for a week, but if it doesn’t work out – this is a dead end. But do not get upset, people meet and drift apart, this must be just not the right person.

Texting after the first date is actually easier than ever. No need to think about what to write, to blur in the low-quality odes of her beauty, to bother her with annoying manifestations of care or to send her pictures of your genitals. Just call her on a second date. Instead of an empty lengthy conversation, it is always better to discuss some cool plans for the next meeting. And it is not at all necessary to show off and work out heavy romantic schemes, just suggest a place and time, this will be quite enough. If the first date went really well, then you can be sure that the girl will be glad to go anywhere with you.

Text after first date but no second date

What is the after first date etiquette? Most men think that the call/message “on the wave of emotions” made immediately after the first date is a desirable behavior that demonstrates extreme interest. So, how often to text after first date? If a romantic pastime brought a lot of positive emotions to both, you noticed how the girl’s eyes were shining, she smiled all the time, then there is no need to wait and you can text as often as you want.

But unlike the first meeting, the second doesn’t allow you to call/text her right away. The second date may not be as memorable as the first one, but it opens up interlocutors from a new side. Experts advise men to call 2-3 days after the second date - this time will be enough for both you and a girl to miss and understand if you like each other. At the same time, in this way, you can see how the girl treats you. If she phoned or texted you, it means that she is seriously interested in you. However, if she herself doesn’t take the initiative but you understand that you like the girl, then don’t wait longer than five days.

So, if you want to maintain normal communication after first date and all subsequent ones, you need to do everything in time.

To sum it up, there are two viable options of when to call or text a woman after a date. Text her the same evening of the date and call her in the evening of the following day. It is as simple as that. If you met someone you genuinely like and the feeling is reciprocal, is there any point in waiting for a week or even three days because someone wrote so on some web page? As the saying goes - strike while the iron is hot. Remember, that an early call or text only reveals your concern about her well-being and shows some chivalry, both of which women want to see in their man. And, of course, when asking her out on a second date, simply be confident and show a desire to see her. By now, you will know what to do after a first date and how to secure the second one.

Comments (5)
I don't think there's a right amount of time for texting after your first date... Sometimes guys send a message right after leading me home, sometimes they wait for a day or too... I guess it's solely based on how your date went!
09.06.2019 02:07
Thank you for the article. I'm a 50's widow who is new to texting and the dating scene. He texted me alot the week before we met, and a whole bunch of texts the day we were to meet. We had a very fun date, and set a second date that night. He texted me when he got home that he had a fun time and was looking forward to our next date. And then the next day i didn't get a text from him all day, until like 11pm. So that was very uncomfortable to me and seemed unusual given the massive communication we had going on prior. So I get the whole day after thing that is part of your article. I think it would be a good addition to mention that even if you're texting all the time the days before the first date, that it isn't unusual for radio silence the day after or for the pattern to change and shift significantly. To me, being new to dating and the whole current dating/texting culture, this behavior makes zero sense, to have 30 texts the day before and one the day after. But in reading a few articles, I get it. And having been in a multiple decade comfortable marriage, it is really very useful to me to understand that the initial stages of dating is just going to be uncomfortable and awkward. Just gotta get thru that. thanks again.
11.07.2019 19:37
Abheek Gulati
This is a very well written and well thought out article that resonated with the questions in my mind. Thank you!!
02.08.2019 07:45
Albert Dawn
Why is it so hard to text a girl after a first date??? Like, I don’t get the whole thing. I’d love to say that it’s just an online trend or something but NOPE it’s real. Like, we went on a date and everything was super fine, when I led her home she let me lend a peck on her cheek but nothing too personal and said she’d love to see me again. What kind of signal is that? Should I be assertive to should I let her have some time to re-asses what happened between us? And here I am trying to decide what to text her and whether I should or shouldn’t text her now. It’s been two days and I’m still deciding. I can actually hear clocks ticking when I think about it, reevaluating all my previous decisions. It’s said in this article that my decision should be based on how the date went. It went FASCINATING but the girl wasn’t all that eager in the end of the meeting. They call it mixed signals and oh boy how much I hate it. OK OK I know nothing bad would happen if I texted her anything. I just want it to be perfect...
25.10.2019 14:04
Thanks for an article. I wish more people would know more about scams. I have two stories, the good and the bad. Will start from the bad one so you could feel the difference… So, I lost my wife 6 years ago and all I had to do when I overcame my loss was to communicate with other women as my children said (I am 48 years old now). I started looking for different chats, sites and apps to find somebody to talk to. I was not that skilled at the time. Moreover I was too upset and needed communication like never before. Why I decided to chat with Slavic women? I just wanted to take a risk and feel something new. Unfortunately this risk cost me money and my time. I should have checked the website and the woman I met more accurately. But I was used by a person who wasn’t even a woman I saw on a picture. I even don’t know where she came from and whether she was a woman. Anyway, you should remember that when somebody asks you to send them money, you should immediately quit this chat and never come back. The good news is I finally met a woman on a dating site. Everything is just like it’s written in this article. Russian women really are open to men from abroad. There are some problems with cultural differences and language barriers. For many of them learning English is a challenge. Luckily my Russian bride Julia has no problem with that. I met her on Romance Compass two years ago. Last year I met her in Sochi and now she moved to me to Boston. I must say there were some difficulties with green card, her assimilation and so on, but it is worth it.
25.10.2019 14:31

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