Muslim Dating Culture: Traditions and Peculiarities

What is the family from the point of view of Islam? What do we know about their customs and traditions, from dating to divorce, including customs and traditions of the intimate side of life. What are the non-obvious and little-known nuances in building a Muslim family? Let's get acquainted with the intricacies of the traditional family way of life in Islam. Find out the answers to all these questions before you go to Muslim dating sites.

Introduction: Acquaintance, Choice of the Bride and Groom According to the Islamic Traditions

Can Muslims date? Of course, but just getting acquainted for dating a Muslim man or a girl is considered wrong. However, it is practically impossible - after all, the true young Muslim woman does not leave the house without being accompanied by adults or men - family members, it is considered indecent. She must live in anticipation of the appearance of her only and main man - her husband, who will make up the meaning of her life, whom she will take care of, whose desires and moods she will have to catch and fulfill. She will strive to bring him joy, and his joy will be the main joy for her. She will give birth to his children and educate them, she will keep him faithful to the end of their days. So they bring up a young Muslim woman. You can get acquainted with the girl only with serious intentions in mind - for creation of a family. A man is not supposed - in order to avoid the temptation - to be alone with a woman who is not his blood relative, talk and touch her.

From the point of view of a person brought up in the spirit of Western cultural values and appropriate morals, these Muslim dating rules are too strict. However, for Muslims, each rule of conduct has a sacred foundation, which goes back either to antiquity (which is a serious reason for fulfilling any traditional prescriptions), or straight into the Koran. Therefore, you will have to accept this if your intentions are really serious. If you show a Muslim woman respect for her traditional values, this will be the first "bonus" in the "piggy bank" of your relationship.

According to the Koran, a man can and must marry not only when he decides that it is time to get a family, but also if he feels a physiological need for communication with a woman. In this case, in order not to seek casual ties (according to the Koran this is a great sin) and not to restrain one's desires, it is better for a man to marry.

By the way, the popular opinion about dating a Muslim that a bride must necessarily be a virgin is not entirely true. The best option is when not only the girl but also the young man did not have sexual experience before marriage, when they are clean before the meeting with each other. At the same time, it is right and natural that a young man and a girl should receive all the necessary knowledge about satisfaction of sexual desire in accordance with the laws of Allah. A girl is considered ready to marry from the age of 9. However, marriage with a widow or a divorced woman is considered perfectly normal.

An interesting fact: the first wife of the 20-year-old Prophet Muhammad was 15 years older than him, and that was her second marriage.

When choosing the groom and the bride, the family in which they were brought up plays an important role. A woman should choose a husband who would be educated no worse than she, and his financial position should be at least equal. The higher status and income of the future husband is a guarantee of family stability since the position of the wife and children is determined by the position of the man. Having lost the previous standard of living, the wife can regret it and experience a feeling of disappointment. In this case, the wife will not be loving and joyful, and happiness will leave the house. According to the Koran, the bride must give voluntary consent to marriage, it must not be coerced, both spouses must be in love. It is noteworthy that some Muslim nationalities ignore this rule and conclude something like a medieval dynastic marriage. And this happens despite the general condemnation of this approach by leading Muslim spiritual and cultural figures, whose authority is fully deserved by certain, important for the Muslim world affairs.

Other Important Features of the Love Relationship in Islam That You Need to Know

Love, refined and romantic, passionate and erotic, is imbued with poetry and literature of all Islamic peoples. Religion as a romantic and all-consuming love is critical. First, of course, because such feelings distract from thoughts about God.

But there is another explanation for the criticism of insane love in the writings of Muslim theologians: a man intoxicated with love is fixated on the subject of his feelings, and this makes him weak and incapable of developing his personality. In any case, in Islam, love before marriage is purely platonic. It is in the family, in marriage, where man realizes his main social and divine destiny - the continuation of the family, and at the same time his sexual desires and needs.

Eastern Subtleties of the Basic Instinct

The intimate life of a Muslim family is covered in mystery, and it is not allowed to disclose it to either a man or a woman. Telling relatives or friends about their own successes, joys or sorrows and tears - everything that happens in the bedroom between the two is forbidden. The windows of the room in which a woman and a man are left alone, indulging in love, should be densely blinded. And it's better if they are not completely exposed, and the blanket will cover their love games. However, both of these wishes remain at the discretion of the spouses.

Muslim women are very domestic compared to women of Western culture. The most intimate, glittering, perfumed and dressed they are seen at home. The wife is supposed to respond with joy and satisfy her husband when he wishes. A friend of mine, a Muslim, once told me that in many families known to him, it is necessary that the wife asks her husband every night before going to bed: "Do you need me today?"

A woman is supposed to satisfy a man, even if she does not have a mood for it. If the man himself does not want intimacy, he should still be affectionate towards his wife. To take care of the sexual satisfaction of the partner is expected from both - both from the husband and the wife. The Koran prescribes a man to enter into an intimate relationship with his wife every 4 days. He is not allowed to leave his wife for a long time alone, leaving for more than six months. Inattention to his wife and a long separation can provoke her infidelity, which is a sin and an excuse for divorce. With a pregnant wife, you can have a close relationship.

Sex in Islam, however, like many other things, is ritualized:

1. Before the intercourse a man is supposed to read a prayer - it protects the alleged child, who can be conceived precisely this time, from the influences of the Shaitan.
2. It is necessary to do ablution for a man before sex (however, as with every serious matter!) - to pass with moistened hands across the head and the face. If there is no water, the same movements are made with dry hands - symbolically. The same ritual is obligatory after intimacy - as gratitude to the Almighty for the bestowal.
3. After sex, you must necessarily rinse the genitals with water (both man and woman), the same must be done before the second act.
4. A man is not supposed to get up right after the end of a sexual act, you need to lie still in bed (that's the proof of the fact that women all over the world differ a little from each other in the depths of their hearts).
5. There are no special prohibitions on the position in Islam: all variants that can lead to the conception of a child are allowed (naturally, anal and oral sex are prohibited).
6. Unwanted time for sex: the first night of the lunar month, the middle and the last (these are the nights of Shaitan), and most preferably - on Friday night and Friday afternoon.

Many men who are dating Muslim women are interested in the question of divorce with a Muslim woman. We are all adults and we understand that not all love stories have a happy ending. Therefore, you need to take into account all the nuances. The valid reasons for divorce are:

1. Betrayal of a husband or wife (in reality it is used, as a rule, by men, it is much more difficult for women to get divorced because the husband has cheated).
2. If the wife does not read obligatory prayers.
3. If a man is impotent, he must divorce his wife at her request.

In Muslim dating culture there are three types of divorce:

1. Preliminary. The husband announces to his wife about the intention to divorce, but leaves her in the house for a period of three menstrual cycles. During this period, he can reconcile with his wife, moreover, her consent in this case is not required.
2. Full. If reconciliation does not occur, then after three months the spouses enter into a complete divorce. However, despite the name of the divorce, the relationship between the spouses can still be restored.
3. The final divorce - when the husband says three times: "I release you." After such form of divorce, a man can, if he wants, again marry his ex-wife. But for this, she must first marry another man and divorce him. If a man is interested in his wife, but, in hot blood, divorced her, which he later regretted, then often in order to return the woman he himself is looking for her "reliable" husband, with whom his ex-future wife will get divorced within a few days. You cannot divorce your wife if she is pregnant. Including for this purpose, divorce gives a waiting period equal to three menstrual cycles in order to find out whether a woman expects a child. And if she is pregnant, then a divorce is possible only after the birth of a child.

In Conclusion: Is it Worth for a Western Man to Start a Relationship with a Muslim Woman?

Obviously, there is no single answer to this question. But we have a few tips. First, never rush to conclusions. In the Muslim world, there are so many subtleties and peculiarities, including those concerning love relationships, that it may take years to study them. It is possible that in the family of a girl who you like not so strict customs reign as we described. To begin with, find out if the girl wants to talk and gently ask her about all these things. Everything immediately becomes clear from her answers. Secondly, be prepared for the fact that your attitude towards life can change. And these changes must be exclusively voluntary. For most people, the transition from one attitude towards life to another is a very painful process. Remember that dating Muslim women is a serious, fascinating but difficult undertaking and not every man can do it.

Muslim online dating — this is what you need to start an acquaintance with this world, if you are really serious. Here you can meet girls from Arabic world who are interested in Muslim dating outside religion. Many of them honor the traditions of their culture, but they are not so radical about certain "romantic" prescriptions of Islam.