Dating As a Single Parent

Content:

1. Dating as a Single Parent: Important Things to Consider
2. The Relationship Between a Single Mother, Her Man, and Her Children
3. Challenges of Dating a Single Parent
4. Challenges of Dating a Single Mother
5. Single Parent Dating Sites

While it is possible to raise a child alone, I would say that it’s not a preferable option. It’s not that much about there being a father and mother figures in a child’s life, but rather because it is hard to raise a child alone. Thus, today we will discuss all the aspects of dating as a single parent. We will talk about single parent dating rules and will list some single parent dating tips.

Dating as a Single Parent: Important Things to Consider

A New Mom

There are lots of single parent dating sites where you can find photos of a man and a child, who are “looking for a new mother.” It seems like a completely normal thing, but it isn’t. When a man with a child begins to look for a "new mother," it is a disaster. A single father should look for a woman with whom he is ready to continue to live and create a family. First of all, he should look for a good wife for himself. After all, if he remains a lonely man with a child and does not allow himself to start any new relationship, nothing good will come out of it. Yet there is a problem, not all children can accept a new stepmother. Their father may face quite a bit of difficulty, and it is necessary to know the difference between their selfish reluctance to share their father with someone and a possibility that his new wife is a horrible person. A father should know how to separate these two lives, the one that he has had with his children, and the one that he has with his new wife.

How Should a Woman Enter a Family?

As we’ve said, first of all, a man should look for a wife for himself. While building a relationship with a new woman, dad should not drag his children in the “choosing process.” As a stepmother, you cannot send those children to your grandparents on a whim, and you cannot really control them. This may lead to some unfortunate consequences, as it is harder to control children, who aren’t your own. It may lead to a lot of frustration and anger towards them. If a woman is unable to cope with this reality, then maybe she isn’t the right fit for the family. On the other hand, a woman can be favorably disposed towards the children of her man, yet the same may not be said for them. Kids may get very violent when it comes to such a dramatic change in their lives. They cannot really assess the situation properly, so they will do everything in their power to get that woman out of their father’s life. And, most often, it doesn’t matter how good of a person she is.

Picking Sides

One cannot knowingly pick a side and, whatever happens, immediately blame the other side of the argument. In a situation like that, you cannot pick a side, this is a ridiculous thing to consider. You should do your best at uniting them, without favoring one side or another. In order for the children to accept the new family member as painlessly as possible, a relationship should be built on the basis of the agreed rules and boundaries. And a woman who has come to the family must both accept the existing rules and introduce some of her own – these rules should apply to everyone. For example, everyone in the family should understand and accept that a new woman is not a “second mother” for children, she cannot claim to and should not “play” this role, she is not competent enough to do it. And the children need to know that she is their father’s choice, she should not be necessarily adored, but she must be treated with respect because disrespectful attitude towards her is disrespect for the father.

Single Mother

While really, most of the things said above apply to single mothers as well, what are some unique aspects of such a situation for women?

You Should Find Your State of Inner Harmony

This is quite an important thing in the life of a single mother, especially right after a divorce. While man can go through it easier, as, at least financially, they are likely to be more independent than women, the latter may enter a depression because of stress like that. When life is full of worries and problems, there is no time to develop spiritually. But do not forget about it! Men are attracted to women who are in harmony with themselves. Get creative, play sports, practice yoga, communicate with positive people and try to find time for things that make you a little happier. At least, if you leave the house, you'll have more chances to meet someone. Always remember about your attractiveness and look after yourself. Men love with their eyes, therefore, to get around competitors, you should always look good.

The Relationship Between a Single Mother, Her Man, and Her Children

A relationship between a divorced woman without a child and her new companion and a relationship in which a child is involved are two completely different things. All men understand that, if there is a child involved, they are less likely to receive all of the attention of that woman, so a single mother is less likely to find a partner, than a woman without a child. Therefore, such an outcome of events should not shock you. You shouldn't get upset about it, just accept the fact that this man does not suit you. When building a relationship between a new man and your child, it is important to remember the following: Respect yourself and hold onto your dignity! Do not be afraid that you will be rejected. Appreciate yourself, be proud of yourself because you are raising a child all alone! Get rid of unnecessary anxiety, get rid of your fears. You will face some problems, and it may take some time, but you will find a man in your life who will love you and your child.

Child’s Jealousness

Consider the idea that a child may be jealous of you to a new man. Do not be offended and get angry for it. Try to help in establishing friendly relations between them. Do not interfere with communication of a child with their new father. Do not expect your child and your new man to immediately become friends. This may require some amount of time. Introduce your new man to a child only when you are sure that your relationship is serious. A child can become attached to a man, and frustration from another separation may be devastating.

Do not forget that your new companion should become an example of a man’s behavior for your child, so pay attention to these moments. What kind of a father can he be? Yes, a woman, first of all, is looking for a husband for herself, but at the same time, the man claims the role of a father for her child. Talk to your man about children in general and your child in particular. You should not hide your child from your new man, sooner or later the truth will come out. And if a man turns out to be not ready to accept a child, then it is better to find out about it at the beginning of a relationship because the outcome will be the same, yet quite more painful to you and your kid.

Here’s a single parent dating advice to remember, both for men and women. Know that just because you have a lot of fun in bed, it doesn’t mean that you will make up a great family. You are looking for a husband, not a lover. You should focus on the human qualities of your new man, instead of how good he is in bed. Meet his parents, ask him about his family, about his childhood. Men in their adulthood often repeat the family model of their parents. Evaluate a man not only by how he treats you but also by how he treats others. Take his bad habits and show him yours. Are you able to ignore them? It is difficult for adults to change, so it’s not worth hoping that he or you will give up some of your bad habits. Do not make your man love your child. And don't make a child call your new husband "dad." This is completely unnecessary.

Challenges of Dating a Single Parent

1. Lots of Pressure

You have to meet the most rational of people on Earth to avoid this issue. No matter how hard you try, you will always be perceived as a new mother, as a replacement. It will be very hard to battle this notion, but it is possible. As you can probably guess, this mainly concerns children, as they are unable to see you as their father’s new partner, they don’t know why their father has brought a new woman into the house. This is very much the case if you are thinking of dating as a Christian single parent, as the “mother figure” plays a big role in a family like that.

2. Lots of Work to Be Done

Let’s your new husband’s kids are quite young, they are just children, and he, as a man, has to work, this implies that you have to watch after these children. And here is where the problems arise, especially if they find it hard to accept you. Oh my god, it is quite hard to watch after your own children, but it is twice as hard to watch after someone else’s kids. You are of no authority to them, you are just a foreign woman, who tries to steal their father away from them, whatever that means.

3. Biological Mother

While these cases are extremely rare, but a biological mother of his children may play a role in your relationship. It will be twice as difficult if there is an ongoing disagreement between them. Whether it’s about children or something else, it will be impossible to stay out of it.

Challenges of Dating a Single Mother

1. Everything Is According to Plan

A date with a woman who has a child waiting for her at home cannot end in long and passionate sex. A single mother is always in control: she will not drink too much and will return home strictly by the time she should. A man needs to understand that children require maternal attention and affection, therefore, she cannot pay this attention to herself. As a result, it will be extremely selfish on the part of a man to demand more attention to himself and to be offended in the case of refusal.

2. Maybe She Isn’t Ready Yet

When mom has an hour of free time, she tries to spend it with benefit: she can make a manicure, read a book, watch a TV series, or just relax by drinking a glass of good wine. Frequent dating is a problem because you need to find time for these dates, so it is easier for a single mom to “make friends for sex” and meet with a partner from time to time just to “blow off steam.” Serious relationships mean that another person is claiming her precious time.

3. Introduction to Children

Dating with kids is just as hard as it sounds. We have already mentioned this issue of young single parent dating, but it bears repeating. It is quite likely that they will be reluctant to accept you into their family, let alone to accept you as a new father. And you cannot just ignore them in this, kids can be stubborn, you should be ready that it may take some time.

Single Parent Dating Sites

So, what about some single parent dating sites? There are quite a lot of them, both international and regional, so finding a single parent dating site that fits you won’t be a problem. Here are some free single parent dating sites.

• match.com
• elitesingles.com
• ourtime.com
• singleparentlove.com
• justsingleparents.com
• localsinglemoms.com
• singleparentmatch.com