From time to time, people doubt their feelings and existing relationships. And this is quite normal. However, the line between thoughts and the need to end a relationship is sometimes subtle. So, often we just don’t notice the red flags that tell us about the importance of a breakup.
Just imagine a person who doesn’t think you deserve more, doesn’t like to appear with you in public, and simply doesn’t see future with you. Doesn’t this sound like the worst nightmare? Please note that it is normal to judge a person by his or her bad deeds and other immoral things. Therefore, don’t waste your time. Healthy relationships in a couple are built primarily on love and respect for each other. This list of negative behaviors was compiled with good intentions. If your chosen one is exactly the same we describe it, then severe ties and forget! You will soon understand that such behaviors deserve only ignoring!
Types of negative behaviors
1. Criticism
Your partner always criticizes you, your appearance, manner of dressing, behavior, and views, stresses shortcomings, looks for mistakes, depreciates your emotions, hopes, plans, achievements, humiliates, comparing with others, thereby killing your self-esteem: “What can you do without me?” Such people look for the most vulnerable spots to press on them. And make you feel guilty and your own imperfection.
2. Accusation
Such people accuse you of everything: their problems, troubles, and negative feelings. “You don’t understand me and don’t support!", “All this is because of you”, “It is your fault!” In fact, you don’t discern their mood and desires. They punish you for “disobedience”, resistance to their control or “bad” behavior. In this case, “bad behavior” may be everything that they don’t like. You constantly feel guilty and apologize endlessly. You have no right to question their words and behavior, be dissatisfied with something, be angry, and demand something. And you must meet their needs and fulfill their often unrealistic demands. And, at the same time, you should be grateful!
3. Disregard
This is one of the worst negative behavior patterns. They ignore your needs, desires, and requests. When you say “I don’t like it, it hurts, don’t do it”, they continue. Your words either don’t touch them or irritate. They end any of your attempts to sort out a relationship and explain how it hurts and offends.
4. Control
Ignoring negative behavior, such people begin controlling your movements and expenses, limit social contacts and supportive environment (parents, friends), often explaining this isolation with care: “They are bad for you”.
5. Conflicts
Small conflicts are even useful because they allow you to understand problems. But it’s not normal when they turn into a usual thing. Many couples practice a sensible and calm discussion of disputed situations, even if one partner is at odds with the interests of the other partner. It is especially good when a person tries to look at the problem from both sides. But if your soul mate doesn’t want to end the conflict and is persistently trying to prove own point of view, not taking into account your opinion, then this is a big problem. Both partners should always respect each other and accept a divergence of views.
6. Lies
A small, naive or insignificant lie, which can be aimed at something good, is always forgivable. Sometimes, such a step is even justified. But a constant lie not only destroys a relationship but also negatively affects your life in the future. If you can’t avoid lying, then avoid this person. Any relationship is a manifestation of trust that needs appropriate behavior. If your soul mate destroys all the confidence in life together, then you must go away. It is a poison that slowly corrodes everything like termites devouring a tree.
7. Stubbornness
Negative people rationalize, justify their negative communication behaviors by anything, and deny your adequacy, forcing you to doubt yourself: “You are crazy and I’m all right. This is something wrong with you!” From their point of view, if someone should “work on themselves” and change themselves, then it is definitely YOU because they are convinced that they have the right to take the position “above” and from this position, they teach others how to live right and how everyone should change. This is such a perverted, turned-out system of values: “I do everything right”, “I have the right to do it”, “Everyone lives like that.”
8. Manipulation
You are manipulated, but you don’t know how to react to it. Whatever you do, there will always be a negative reaction on partner’s part: “I’m tired of your obsessive care!” And after a while, you hear: “Well, no one will even offer a pill for a headache.” Or they say: “I know better what’s good for you,” – then turn everything you said inside out and deny the obvious: “No one offended you. You yourself started it all. And now you accuse me.” This is one of the worst examples of negative behaviors.
9. Failed expectations
There is the so-called cycle of violence. You live peacefully, calmly, but all this time internal tension is growing in your soul mate. Then there is an act of violence (or a major scandal with accusations) and a discharge begins, the tension is relieved. After that, your partner repents “Forgive me if you can. I offended you again!” and the honeymoon stage comes: a partner gives a lot of kindness and care, and you have wonderful sex.
10. Rejection
At the same time, a partner’s rejection of you can be expressed in different ways: lack of sex, joint leisure, unwillingness to open up to you and make contact in every possible way. If this is not an occasion to end a relationship, then ask few questions that can help better understand the origins of the current state of things. Were you a good partner for your soul mate? The rejection of you by a partner can be a sort of “retreat” to better times, and an implicit demonstration that feelings are cooling down and the time of lamentable changes is approaching. The only way to understand this is to talk to a partner.
11. Aggression
All the above habits and character traits are just trifles comparing to the aggressive behavior of a partner. Love doesn’t have anger, and even more – physical or emotional aggression. Run away from a person who is cruel to you. You can try to change such behavior, but don’t even think about marriage! If you don’t take this advice into account, you risk making the biggest mistake of your life. You can’t marry a person who doesn’t know how to control aggression.
12. Fights
Comments are superfluous here. This is one of the most undesirable options for developing relationships with the opposite sex. Fights are disastrous for the climate in a family and the health of all its participants. It’s sad, it hurts, but you have to admit it all.
13. Passiveness
At the very beginning, you couldn’t decide what to do – go to the cinema or have a picnic on the river bank. Everything was romantic. Now you don’t even want to make an effort and go to a restaurant or a cinema to somehow maintain a passing passion. Your option now is to sit at home and watch TV. And it’s not good for any relationships.
14. Negative thoughts
It is very difficult to be close to people who don’t want to get rid of negative things. They reflect and constantly talk about the terrible things that can happen and happened, about the contempt they have experienced, and about the injustice of life. These people don’t want to see the positive moments that occur in their lives. Pessimism is one thing and a permanent stay in the negative is quite another.
15. Cruelty
One of the most disgusting manifestations of behavior is cruelty. This is a complete lack of empathy, anxiety or compassion for others. We see this every day on the Internet and in the media – people have a destructive effect on others just because they want to do so. They cowardly humiliate people in social networks, using their anonymity as a defense. Cruelty, betrayal and harm to a loved one for any reason negatively affect a relationship.
16. Selfishness
Your partner takes a lot but gives a little. To notice such disrespectful behavior, you may need a lot of time. However, gradually you may notice that you are constantly interested in your partner’s affairs, take care, and ask about plans. In turn, your partner doesn’t behave the same way.
17. Disrespect
Disrespect for you manifests in different ways. For example, it can be the lack of necessary action and verbal or emotional violence, as well as passive-aggressive behavior. All these forms of offensive behavior are insignificant at first sight, so it is so difficult to notice them in time. Sometimes disrespectful behavior can be even more inconspicuous: a partner can call you an insulting word and don’t apologize for it.
18. Avoidance of sex
Undoubtedly, if you have been together for several years, it is somewhat naive to expect from each other the passionate fervor of the first dates and sex several times a day. An unrestrained drive is replaced by harmony, warmth, and tenderness. Stress at work, fatigue, and poor health bring adjustments to the schedule of intimate meetings. But the conscious avoidance of intimacy is quite another thing. If you notice that your partner is constantly looking for an excuse not to have sex with you, this is a fairly serious signal and one of the negative behaviors in adults.
19. Cheating
Cheating or serious deception can provoke a crisis of relationships and also deprive you of the ability to believe your loved one. Restoring trust can take many years and requires a lot of mutual efforts. However, sometimes no effort is sufficient to glue the broken happiness. In this case, it is necessary to find the courage to admit that it’s time to put an end to a relationship. If bitter memories of cheating continue to hurt you even after a long time, and every step of your lover leads to suspicion, then seriously think about whether you need such torture.
20. Dissatisfaction
A sense of satisfaction and security is one of the most important signs of a happy relationship, where people enjoy the time spent together. This doesn’t mean a complete absence of quarrels. It is normal to have differences in opinion. But if you are often in a bad mood and sharing time doesn’t bring you pleasure, then think about how to break up and never hurt each other again. It is a very important and responsible task to choose a person with whom you can spend your whole life. Sometimes, having made a choice, we begin to understand that this is a mistake. Often the dead-end relationship can’t end because of the fear of both partners to remain alone, and people become sources of stress for each other, although they brought happiness and joy earlier. That is why you should determine it in time and know how to change the negative behavior of a partner.
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