General Relationship Rules
Successful relationships are what most people in the world want. There aren’t so many people in the world that much rather live alone than with someone else. Today we will talk about some of the most major rules that people need to remember in all sorts and different forms of relationships.
In a relationship, everything is easier than it seems. There are many general relationship rules that you should follow, but, to not make this article too long, we will focus on the three most important healthy relationship rules for every type and form of a relationship. Remember about them during your next disagreement with your partner. Remember them when you are desperate, and you feel like you’ve met a dead end. Remember them when it seems to you that you and your partner no longer understand each other. Let’s begin our list of the 15 relationship rules for couples by talking about general rules for a relationship.
1. Everyone should play their part
The world has existed for millions of years, and interpersonal relationships change with its development. However, one of the main laws of successful relationships is not amenable to evolution. This law is about the correct distribution of roles. A man should be responsible for his woman, and a woman should help a man in what he does. If a woman gives her man the opportunity to make decisions, and the man is ready to be responsible for everything that happens in a relationship, then they both will feel quite harmonic in such a relationship. You will be surprised, but all religious and philosophical dogmas, no matter what you think of them, whether you agree with them or not, will lead you to this idea. The human experience is a great thing. The task of a woman is to be an assistant, and the task of a man is to love his woman and take care of her with all of his might.
2. Try on the role of your partner
It is important to apply this principle very carefully. The role of a partner should be tried on, but not taken on. It is important for a man to remember that his beautiful woman is different, she is not as strong and requires more tenderness and warmth. It is important for a woman to remember that her man often gets tired after work, that he does not have much opportunity to express his emotions, that he does not always know how to discuss his emotions. Men are more restrained and because of this, they may experience much more prone to stress. Try on the role of your partner. This will help you understand their feelings in any given situation.
3. Put love at the head of your relationship
This is one of the most important rules for a good relationship. Do you love your soul mate? If yes, then you have everything you need for a perfect relationship. Skip all your words, all your actions, speak and act through love.
Always ask yourself the following questions:
- Do my actions express my love for my partner?
- Will it make my soulmate happier?
Arrange this short dialogue with yourself from time to time. Empty dispute? The difference of opinion? Fatigue and irritability? All this will go away if you pass all your words through the prism of love. Remember your partner and your feelings for them. Life will be brighter and more beautiful when harmony and comfort are present in your relationship. Now let’s look into some polyamorous relationship rules.
Polyamorous Relationship Rules
4. Consider the consequences of your actions, including unintended ones
The unintended consequences may leave a lasting impact on a relationship. Just keep in mind that your decisions and your actions will have consequences, and you are responsible for these consequences, even if you think that your actions are explicitly allowed by the rules in effect in your relationship.
A good example of unintended consequences can be seen by considering a relationship in which one partner has veto rights with respect to the romantic relationships of their partner. Such a right should be mutual and must be discussed in advance.
However, if your partner falls in love with someone and, then, you put a veto on this relationship, you will almost certainly hurt your partner. The fact that they have voluntarily given you veto rights does not matter. Losing a romantic relationship hurts. This is why people get engaged, they try to lower this possibility. When you hurt your partner, this usually affects your relationship with them even if they have given you this right. I'm not saying that you should never use the veto right, I am telling you that when you make decisions that affect your partner, you should think about how they will affect them and take responsibility for it. Say, "Yes, I know that it is painful for you, I'm sorry." Be aware that your decisions can affect your relationships and take responsibility for these consequences, even if they are not unintended.
Perhaps this is the most important factor in the success of a relationship. When you invite your partner somewhere, but not their own partners, you try to exclude their partners from participating in something important for you or simply do not attach importance to the feelings that your partner may feel to someone else, all this will affect your relationship. This influence will sometimes be obvious, and sometimes it will be elusive. Think of the consequences of your decisions as much as their reasons.
5. Do not try to control your feelings or the feelings of your partners
One of the most common problems in polyamorous relationships arises when one of the partners tries to control the depth of the emotional connection between their partner and someone else to feel calmer and more confident. People are often hurt by someone else's emotional intimacy, sometimes even more than physical intimacy. But an attempt to control emotions does not lead to a solution to this problem. Rules in a relationship should exist, but they should not hinder your freedom.
Emotional manipulation doesn’t work this way. It’s almost impossible to work according to the following rule, “You can be physically close to another person, but you shouldn’t be emotionally closer to them than me.” It is almost impossible to determine which relationship and to what extent will become emotionally close to a person. Attempts to control fear and uncertainty, by controlling the degree of emotional intimacy, almost always fail. Moreover, sometimes these attempts lead to the next problem.
6. Do not burn the village trying to protect it
It is known that causing pain to a partner affects relationships. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to understand that when you break their heart, you damage your relationship. One way to break your loved one's heart is to force them to part with the person they love, and the rules prohibiting emotional closeness usually lead to this. Since it is impossible to control emotions arbitrarily, and since it is not always possible to predict the degree of emotional intimacy that will arise in a relationship, people who prohibit emotional intimacy often end violating their partner’s interests. And they face a choice: change the rules or part with a partner who has become too close. The second is very painful for people who have to break up and this pain, undoubtedly, affects their relationship.
Let’s now list some of the most important open relationship rules.
Open Relationship Rules
7. Make sure you both want it
When we talk about rules for an open relationship, we have to talk about the fundamentals of such an alliance. Unfortunately, it often happens that only one partner wants freedom, and the second, reluctantly, agrees because of the fear of losing their partner. Such a scheme may not work at all or bring the second partner into the deepest depression. The only thing that can be done here is to have an honest conversation and decide whether or not you want to enter an open relationship, what it will give you and what it will give your partner. And, of course, it’s worthwhile to tell your partner that you are not trying to replace them with another person, the purpose of an open relationship is quite different. If you both agree, you can proceed with your relationship. If not, you may need to agree on something else.
8. Talk about jealousy in your relationship
Do not amuse yourself with illusions - jealousy will be there, no matter what. And that is why it is better to talk about the jealousy aspect of your relationship in advance. Define your rules of jealousy. For example, you will be hurt that some other person will text them in the middle of the night or while you have breakfast, and it will be unpleasant for them to see comments from some other women under your photos on social networks. Everyone can have their own weaknesses, and it is better not to abuse these weaknesses. A sincere and open conversation about this will help you both take care of each other's feelings, especially in those moments when you will be with someone else. And it is this mutual concern that can make your open relationship even stronger.
9. Make a list of people you cannot sleep with
This is a must, and this list should include anyone that you don’t want to see, your relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues. You can even agree that mutual friends are prohibited. But you have to think well about this rule because you should not remove or add people to this list according to your personal preferences, it is not a good fit, you will come off looking like a control freak.
Also, throw all of the exclusive relationship rules that you know out of the window, open relationships are the opposite of that, they should give freedom, not restrict it. Now let’s talk about something else, the casual and platonic relationship rules.
Casual Relationship Rules
The following are the most important casual relationship rules.
10. Do not control your partner
This is one of the most crucial rules of a relationship. Control will be regarded as an attempt to seize personal territory. There should be no jealousy, claims, and discontent. There is only one common interest – sex. You should not treat it as something sacred or not ordinary, you are in a casual relationship because both of you agreed to it (well, at least we hope that there was some sort of an agreement in place).
11. Do not forget about love
Sex without commitment should not interfere with the desire to build a family. There is no reason not to love your partner and try to develop something strong from the foundation that is your casual state of a relationship. The fine line between this and the previous rule is that everything should be discussed in a relationship if you don’t feel like you are ready yet, and you don’t have a reason to put pressure on your partner – tell them about it, let them be aware of the state of your relationship.
If you want to build something out of this relationship – tell them about it, let them be aware of what is on your mind and what you are counting on in the future.
12. Control your feelings
That being said, there is no reason to be too straightforward and upfront. If you do not plan to turn your casual relationship into a long-lasting serious relationship, hold on to your feelings. Sometimes it is enough to cross one thin line to destroy everything.
You have to find out how impulsive you are. Would you be happy with your decision in just a few months, let alone years? Is your desire to build something serious that strong? Also, consider the form of your relationship, rules for a platonic relationship differ from other types of relationships.
Let’s now analyze the most important long-distance relationship rules.
Long Distance Relationship Rules
13. Agree on your commitments
The length of time during which people are able to maintain their love and loyalty directly depends on how carefully they treat each other. Remember this: love should not make you hostage of a situation, and if you are in love with someone – you are not prisoners. After all, each person tolerates separation in different ways: one can wait for years, and the other constantly needs energy or sexual nourishment so that their feelings won’t just diminish with time. Agree with your partner whether you see your relationship as monogamous or free. This will help avoid further unnecessary questions, jealousy, and quarrels.
14. Do not be silent
In any relationship, sincerity and honesty are important. This is especially true for people living in different cities. If you are plagued by any bad experiences, share them with your loved one, and your problems will be halved. And your loved one will have the opportunity to show concern for you, give practical advice, sympathize and help you battle these feelings.
15. Surprise each other
Let the distance between you not become an obstacle to close communication, sympathy, and surprise of each other. Try to add romance to your regular calls and chats. Indeed, in our time there is no shortage of messengers. Surprise them with an unexpected text message, tell them a joke, give them a pleasant surprise, and remind them of yourself. This way, you will feel closer to each other, both literally and figuratively. But do not overdo it, don’t become too clingy and obsessive, no one likes people like that.
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