6 Signs That You Are a Serial Dater (and Ways to Deal with It)


Whenever you break up with your partner, you always find a prospective one fast. Actually, you have a prospective one even before the breakup. Probably, because you were spending time on sites for single women dating while being in a relationship. And, of course, you never meant anything serious by continuing using dating sites while being in a relationship. You just wanted to protect yourself.

That's your main justification for going against the traditional rules of dating if you have one. You are claiming that everything passes quite quickly, and you never know when your current relationship is going to end. You can also blame the FOMO, but most likely, you are not even trying to find an excuse for yourself, as jumping from one relationship to another comes to you as something absolutely natural. Most likely, you are a serial dater and have no slightest idea about it. If you want to know the serial dater meaning, continue reading.

serial dater psychology

Serial Dater Definition

So, what is a serial dater? The vast majority of us are following the unwritten rules of dating, according to which you are not dating multiple partners simultaneously and don't jump from one relationship to another. But serial daters act as if they don't know those rules at all. They are always after the chase. Dating is a game for them, although mostly unconsciously.

They are chatting with multiple people on a dating service simultaneously. They can have three first dates with different people in one day, and most likely, those first dates would be the last ones. Because their main aim is to secure their next date.

Quite often, they cannot focus on their current relationship, as they are already searching for a new prospective partner. They simply can't help it when they see the next best thing. Funny enough, you can often spot serial daters complain that dating has turned into sport nowadays, without even realizing that they are the reason why it has turned into a sport.

6 Signs You Are a Serial Dater

While we've answered, "What is serial dating?" in a brief, you might have recognized yourself, but following the typical serial dater psychology, you refused to acknowledge it. But that doesn't mean that you are not a serial dater. So, to help you figure out whether you are one or not, we offer you to check out signs of a serial dater without any further ado.

You always have a plan-b

The first rule of serial dating is that you always have a potential partner on your mind when you are being in a relationship. That's why you are using an online dating service even when you are in a committed relationship. Even if you don't, there is always someone around who likes you, whom you think as of your plan-b in case your current relationship will end up in a breakup. That's typical serial dating psychology. You are always looking for someone new, even if you've met the love of your life. Every partner you meet is the love of your life.

what is a serial daterYou're in for the thrill

The biggest problem that you have with the relationship is the fact that the thrill fades away with time. That's the problem that most of the couples go through, but what's the difference here? Well, while most of the people are trying to solve those issues while being in a relationship, trying to find new ways to revitalize their feelings and bring back the thrill, you are simply going for a new relationship when the thrill is over in your current one. You always need someone new to get those butterflies back to your stomach. Not that your current partner cannot bring them back, you are just not trying.

You ditch your friends for a partner

You are always ditching your friends whenever you get into a new relationship. Friends are an important part of everyone's life. Most likely, you are going to claim that your friends are quite important to you, and you won't even think about the fact that you are contradicting yourself. Most likely, your friends have never told you a thing about you being selfish in your ditching them for your partner. You've got a new partner; you can walk away from your friends' party. You always prefer to find a new date over the meeting with your friends. And if they never told you about that, you have really good friends. But not for long.

You are into everyone who asks you out

Let's be honest. A lot of people go on a date with someone they don't seriously consider as a prospective partner, just to give it a try or simply to waste their free time on something. But if you are a serial dater, things are absolutely different. You think that everyone who's asked you out is worth a shot. Moreover, you are constantly thinking about how your relationship can develop from that date. Even though your first date can be your last one, as you are going to have the next after this one, you are still having thoughts about your date-mate as of a prospective partner.

You're afraid of being single

While you are, most likely, to say that you hate being alone, actually you are afraid of being single. You are feeling incomplete without having a partner, but you easily get bored with each partner. It's a contradictory situation, you hate being single, but you are unable to maintain the relationship. Stating that you are failing to maintain a relationship is not quite right, as you are actually not even trying to sustain your relationship. As soon as the thrill fades, you run off to find someone new.

You don't search, you find love

That's something you will tell your friends. You are not searching for love, you find it in your next prospective partner. But, actually, you just don't have the type. There is nothing in common with your partners. You say that you find love, but you are just convincing yourself that you love each of your partners. But, actually, you are not loving any of them. Love is something long-lasting, while all of your relationships fade as soon as the thrill is gone.

Some Negative Aspects of Being a Serial Dater

While you could have got the picture of the negative aspects of the serial relationship from our previous points, most likely, you are going to refuse the mere possibility of admitting that you are a serial dater. So, let's go through the negative aspects of being a serial dater.

You constantly feel incomplete

We've already talked about it previously, but let's expand on it a bit. You are constantly feeling incomplete. It is quite okay for people who are single to feel incomplete without a partner, but your problem is that you are feeling incomplete even being in a relationship. You get that constant anxiety that your new relationship is going to be better, that's why you can never settle down with a partner. That's an unhealthy tendency, moreover, you can always get in an abusive relationship with partner unsuitable for you simply to avoid being alone. Besides you easily get depressed by the level of anxiety you are feeling.

All of your relationships are shallow

Building something together is beautiful. Carrying for each other is wonderful. Trying to maintain your relationship is hard, but it gives partners big rewards. But you can never experience that, as all of your relationships are shallow. You are never thinking about them as of something long-lasting. Probably, you are never even thinking about the possibility of your relationship lasting. And as your mind is busy with figuring out who your next partner is going to be, you are never getting any pleasure from the relationship that you are having right now. In the end, all of your relationships are shallow and short-lived.

serial relationshipYou can't feel loved

After all, you cannot feel loved. Most of your ex-partners hate you or at least are confused with you disappearing all of a sudden, while your current partners never get the opportunity to know you quite well. While you are always searching for something new, you never give your partners a chance to truly love you. They might be infatuated, but that's all. Thus, you never feel loved in your relationships.

You cannot go on like this forever

All in all, you cannot go like that forever. In the end, you are going to feel tired from being on the run all the time, and you would love to settle down, but you are not able to do that. Being a serial dater maybe just an unhealthy habit, but as with all unhealthy habits, it is quite difficult to abandon it and get free. Most likely, even if you wanted to stop, you wouldn't be able to do that easily. That's why if you are finding the signs of being a serial dater, you need to start figuring out what can be done about it.

Ways to Change the Situation If You Are Sure You Need This

Okay, maybe we were pushing it too far by stating that being a serial dater is an unhealthy habit. Maybe you are feeling absolutely comfortable with being one. Maybe we don't know you quite well, and you actually feel love towards every partner you are dating. So, you can continue your serial dating on as long as you want. However, if you feel that your habit is spoiling your dating life, here's some advice that you can follow.

First of all, stick to one partner on a dating service. Spend more time trying to figure them out. Try to allow your partner to get to know you. Abandon the idea of playing games. After all, a relationship is not a game. You should also try to enjoy the time that you spend on your own. After all, if you are not comfortable with being on your own, it is unlikely you are going to be comfortable with someone else.

In case if you find it difficult on your own, you can always seek professional help. Not that we stand by the fact that you are going to fail to solve the issue on your own, but if you face problems with doing so, we recommend paying a visit to your shrink, who can help you sort everything out.

Is Serial Dating Bad?

No one can tell you whether your dating life is good or bad. Everything depends on your attitude, after all. Most likely, it is causing you less pain and confusion than your partners whom you abandon seemingly without any rhyme or reason. Still, if you don't feel comfortable with that, you already know that there are ways of dealing with it.

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