Dating an Introvert: Everything You Wanted to Know

What are introverts like?

An introvert is a person who is immersed in their inner world, is more focused on their own experiences and thoughts. It is more difficult for them than an extrovert to establish social relationships and establish contacts with the outside world.

But it is not so simple. Do not confuse introverts with lazy people or misanthropes. Indeed, laziness is an unwillingness to do something, misanthropy is an asocial behavior, but introversion is a feature of human thinking. Therefore, if someone says - “I'm an introvert”, we still need to figure out if this is the case. Perhaps it’s just more convenient for them to hide behind with that word, while, in fact, moving away from work or responsibility. A true introvert is far from a lazy person; their efforts are simply aimed at introspection, contemplation of the inner world. Such people very often become philosophers, inventors, scientists, writers, poets, which requires no less work than communication with others. And in general, as it turns out, most attractive traits in a man are those that are often associated with introverted men.

Introvert and extrovert

For the first time, the existence of two opposing personality types was brought to the attention of the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, who developed the concept of analytical psychology. Thanks to their labors, people learned who introverts and extroverts are. The identity of the first turned out to be asocial, while the latter, on the contrary, focused on interaction with the outside world.

Further research only expanded our knowledge of introverts, highlighting several of their types. While studying psychotypes, the British scientist Hans Eysenck found that introverts are a collective concept, which, in turn, is divided into a number of types. They can be emotionally stable or unstable, which corresponds to a phlegmatic or melancholy temperament.

Depending on whether a person is a phlegmatic person or a melancholic person, their introversion will manifest itself in different ways. In the first case, they will be estranged from the outside world, and in the second they will be distinguished by excessive vulnerability and feelings. Pronounced psychotypes are rare. Basically, both types of personality are combined, it’s just that they are not expressed equally at different periods of life. Sometimes one of the qualities develops more actively than the other. Now let’s discuss some introvert dating problems and tips on how to fix them.

Introvert dating tips

Silence is not a sign of alienation

You might think that she doesn't want a relationship, she doesn’t like you and that’s why she is silent, but that is unlikely. Introverted people are silent by nature, they don’t need constant communication with other people in order to feel complete or happy. Sure, they need it from time to time, we all do to a certain extent, but this is the main difference between extroverts and introverts. Extroverts are passionate in communication, they find great pleasure in it, while introverts can enjoy it with the people they like, but they are more rational about it. An introvert can be just fine with snuggling with their partner without saying a word or just watching a movie together. They are very thoughtful, and if they are silent and just want to be left alone – this doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you or them.

Lack of conflicts

This is both an upside and a downside of a relationship with an introvert. They don’t really like to argue with their partners, they say a few words in their defense and if these words aren’t heard – they are going to notice this, they will remember their partner’s reaction and make conclusions when they are left alone with their own thoughts. A good thing here is that conflicts are rarely ever prolonged, but the downside here is that they don’t always like to talk about their feelings, and some of their outbursts may be unexpected.

Keep calm

Be patient. Sometimes it is terribly difficult to accept strangeness, imaginary alienation, and coldness, incomprehensible needs and other features of introverts. If you have different motives, then finding a common language is not easy: you want to come over to your friend’s house, but they want to sit at home; emotions overwhelm you, and your partner remains impenetrable ... An introvert will never belong to you 100%. Nevertheless, remember that at the heart of any relationship is a compromise. Try to understand that your favorite introvert is also making efforts to maintain a relationship with you. A lot of things in them seem strange and incomprehensible to them too, they also have to get used to it for a long time and make concessions.

Extroverts dating introverts: is it possible?

Here are the peculiarities of introvert dating an extrovert.

Find out the way your partner recovers their energy

Dating an introvert can be very tricky. Extroverts get energy by spending time with other people. While they are alone, they lose it. This does not mean that extroverts cannot be left alone at all, or that the company of other people is like a drug for them. It’s just that communication gives them new strength.

If you are having problems when it comes to introvert date ideas – observe their behavior, find out the things they like. But it is so extremely important when it comes to personal space. Let’s say you are dating an introvert girl. Do you see that your introvert girlfriend is reading? Give her the opportunity to enjoy the process. This is one of the activities that bring introverts great pleasure. Respect how your soul mate restores energy, and you will notice striking changes in their mood and a decrease in tension in your relationship.

Choose the right moment

How to date an introvert? Do you need to discuss something important? Choose the right moment to do so, based not on your mood, but on the mood and psychotype of your partner. This should be done especially carefully if you have to give them some bad news or discuss some sensitive issues.

But let’s see the issue from the other side. If your soulmate is an extrovert, then you will need a lot of time to discuss something. You can’t just throw a few words on the go and continue to do your own business, putting off the conversation until later. An extrovert will want to discuss everything properly and do so right away. They will not give you time for further thought. So think it over in advance. If your partner is an introvert, then it will take some time for them to digest what you said.

Be prepared to make compromises

You cannot demand constant adaption to your desires and needs from your partner. Dating as an introvert can be very difficult. If you are an introvert, you cannot force your loved one to plan in advance each conversation with you. If you are an extrovert, you should not try to get your soul mate out of its shell at all costs. You won’t succeed, come to terms with this.

Introvert dating sites

Here are the best introvert dating sites you can find online.

• dating.elitesingles.com
• bumble.com – one of the biggest introvert dating sites out there.
• coffeemeetsbagel.com
• okcupid.com
• happn.com
• anomo.com