How to Deal with Sexual Frustration: a Complete Guide


No matter how much you love your partner, there are always times when you may feel like giving up on your physical closeness. This is a quite common and even natural feeling of being sexually frustrated, but it doesn’t mean it should be pleasant. Among other things, there are hundreds of sexually frustrated men and women struggling to coexist with this feeling day by day and are hardly succeeding in it. You adore your wife like nothing else in the world, but this does not exclude the fact she probably often gets under your skin. Almost the same goes for a sexually frustrated woman. It is usually what happens when you live with the same person for many years. As usual as it is, do not let things get out of hand, because once it crosses the “no return” line, the breakup will become the least of your problems.

sexually frustrated men

The insight to sexual frustration, its symptoms, and nature

What does sexually frustrated mean? Well, first of all, it’s the mental condition when your sexual achievements do not meet your expectations. It may derive from a mass of circumstances including physical, mental, emotional, social, or any other barriers. Next question – what is a sexually frustrated person like? Apathetic, upset, inert – the list goes on and on. Being disappointed with your sexual relations, whatever the reason might be, is totally normal. Yet keeping the person you love by your side is supposed to be the top priority in your life, and once you notice the ardor in your bedroom cooling off, you should immediately take additional efforts to prevent things getting any worse. Of course, it may be a two-way street, but if it looks like you are the only one who has these obnoxious emotions, then you are the one who is going to change everything for the better.

Signs of a sexual frustration

1. Your sleep is bad

One of the major sexual frustration symptoms hits you, like, instantly. When a person is frustrated with his/her sexual life, it will undoubtedly affect the sleep patterns for the bad. You’d think that since you’re not distracted by the thoughts of someone else’s body grinding on yours that you’d actually get some sleep, but that is probably not true. The point is that when you’re experiencing sexual frustration, you’re not having sex as much as you used to, accordingly, your body saves more energy. This energy excess affects the quality of your sleep, making you lie awake at night wondering why you just can’t fall asleep.

2. You’re not really interested in physical intimacy

This might appear quite a strange one among the signs of sexual frustration, but the stress this frustration puts on your system can actually cause you to grow uninterested in sex, at least for some time. Once you get your mood back on and embrace the self- appraisal - boosting benefits of a good old romp under the blanket, you will definitely spot your sexual drive turning back.

sexual frustration3. You’re on the edge

When you are obsessed with sexual frustration, you are a lot more likely to end up in a cranky mood and are constantly irritated by the most insignificant trifle. Even the tiniest issues will set you off without any good reason.

Not wanting to have an intercourse is one thing. But not wanting to maintain a relationship with your spouse is another. You may have periods when everything about your partner just gets on your nerves. From the way she pronounces certain letters to the way he snores at night, from the way he slurps while eating to the way she drives.

If you are feeling anger and are not able to pinpoint why and how this irritation was triggered, you are probably undergoing the sexual frustration. Sex makes people satisfied and happy. Thus, if you are not getting laid, there is a good chance that you will eventually turn into a disgruntled person. Many people tend to come down on their partners, as they subconsciously blame them for their depression-like state of mind that finally reflects on sex.

4. You imagine someone else in bed

One of the obvious symptoms of sexual frustration is when you catch yourself on thinking about another person when making love with your partner. Whether it is a new good-looking worker at your office or that sexy waitress at local café who brings you the morning coffee. If you can’t help imagining someone else on your partner’s place, you are probably feeling both sexual and emotional frustration. It may denote that you are actually bored with your regular partner or simply not fully contented with your sex. In any case, it is surely not the best omen for your relationship.

5. You think about your exes

When sexually frustrated, you are often driven to everybody you once had in your bed. So if you’re dreaming about meeting your exes to have a sexual “getaway” from your stable partner, you’re probably sexually frustrated. Just take our advice and be wary of texting every ex whose number you still have on your phone. This probably isn’t the best way to deal with sexual frustration.

6. Nothing brings you joy anymore

Of course, this is assuming that you haven’t tried having a good sex or getting yourself off. But even if your most favorite hobby does not bring you the needed satisfaction, then you may possibly be sexually frustrated. When someone is experiencing that kind of frustration, it is not like they can watch a funny movie and get into the right mood. Only the sexual intimacy can improve their mood.

How to deal with sexual frustration

1. Talk over the issue

If you’ve tried nearly everything and you still are where you left with your problem, do not be shy to reach out for help. Make an appointment for a private session with a therapist and discuss everything that bothers you. Once you are comfortable and relaxed, invite your beloved person to join the session and sort out your mutual worries.

Communication is key when fighting the outcomes of the sexual frustration. Just remember there’s nothing shameful about asking for help if you can’t sort it out by yourself. If closeness is precisely the matter, visiting a sex therapist will provide you plenty of options on what you can do as a couple to get rid of the frustration.

All in all, you should always remember that a happy relationship is always a choice. Although there are definite things in life you can never change, there are a lot of others that you can and need to. Your mindset is among them.

2. Play with yourself

If you are partly sexually frustrated with your performance in bed and still want to let go of the tension, then go ahead and let your hands do the job. Even if you are having a comparably great sex, there is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself from time to time.

how to get over sexual frustration In order to learn how to get over sexual frustration, you need to find out what turns you on most of all. And right after you can freely please yourself if you are not comfortable with having an intercourse. Or you can let your lover know what gets you horny and the only way to discover it is through masturbating. If you manage to heighten the pleasure during sex, it will take plenty of your frustration away.

3. Take up a sexual hobby

You will probably be amazed at how marvelous having fun with unconventional sex can be! If your relationship is a long-term one, you can get used to the point that doing the same thing on a regular basis (even if it brings you tons of delight) can and will get a little dull.

Spice your relations up and inject lust into your sexual life by engaging in a sexual hobby! It can be checking in for pole dancing classes for women and going all the way and attending the Kama Sutra courses for men. No matter what you may feel about this approach, it will greatly contribute to your relationship’s stability and introduce something fresh and new between the sheets.

4. Release the steam

While sex is always a superior method to shift off the stress, sometimes you may not have such an option if you’re frustrated with your achievements in a bedroom. Find other outlets to release your annoyance. It could be going biking on weekends, taking up yoga lessons, taking up a relaxing walk in the park zone, enrolling in a paintball club or anything else to get your heart bumping and blood running faster through your body. Going for any type of physical activity is the ultimate answer to how to deal with sexual frustration.

5. Accept things you can’t change

You can be unsuccessfully struggling with sexual frustration simply because there’re certain things in life that you can’t change and the first thing to do that may seem the only way out is to pour everything out on the person closest to you. Your partner is not your punching dummy. Remember, there are many things you simply have to learn to live with. Going gray, battling a low potency, gaining weight due to the aging – those are all the complaints that affect your life, including the sexual drive. Throw away these worries by accepting them as an inevitable part of human life and you will find your sexual dissatisfaction gradually disappearing.

6. Spare some time for yourself

If you’re wondering how to relieve sexual frustration, pay attention at the amount of time you dedicate to yourself. Make sure you take care of yourself the same way you take care of your lover. There is nothing bad about acting a little selfishly at the end of the tough day at work, having stretched your legs on a sofa with your favorite football channel switched on and sipping some cold beer. You also can start working out to gain muscle mass, get a new stylish haircut, visit a salon for a professional makeup (if you’re a girl), start eating right or doing all those things together. Once you look good on the outside, you will feel much better on the inside and everyone will benefit from this, especially your beloved significant other.

Summing it up

Eating, drinking, breathing and having sexual pleasure. Those things are embedded into our DNA. Apart from food, sex is perhaps the next biggest need of all mammals, including humans. We require physical closeness in order to continue the human species. As well as to keep us mentally sane. But it is not all. Sex is healthy as well. It strengthens the immune system, fights stress and, no doubt, increases our self-esteem. If you succeed to have sex regularly, then you will be able to feel all of its benefits. The lack of understanding between partners usually results in sexual frustration which estranges one partner and then ruins the whole relationship. In fact, an answer to “what does it mean to be sexually frustrated?” lies exactly in our mind. You may consider the sexual frustration some kind of a disease and, as you know, all diseases initially originate in our head, in our way of thinking. That’s why make sure your thoughts are always clear and positively tuned.

We sincerely hope our article may come in handy and teach you how to get rid of sexual frustration and take pleasure in making love with your beloved person. Stay inspired!

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