The Horrors of a Rebound Relationship

Destruction of a romantic relationship, especially if both partners have walked a long journey together, is always connected with pain and grief. Considering this, in order to avoid facing all those feelings of emptiness, self-reproach and rejection, some people may be tempted to enter the so-called “rebound” relationships, jumping right into fresh and new intimate relations. No other temporary engagements numb the pain of a recent breakup as much as a rebound relationship. Of course, they can easily turn out to be toxic and all, but, say, they might actually become really beneficial when developed correctly. Damn, sometimes those can even evolve into something fabulous! Well, sometimes.

That wonder could happen, however, if both newly-made partners on the rebound got the same expectations regarding what their relationship will be like. Simply put, there are some things even crueler than dragging an unsuspecting person into the “love” trap, loading him/her with your emotional baggage and letting a person cherish hope that your new relationship will be a real deal. Oftentimes, though, many people do not even want to admit it to themselves they are rebounding. So, before giving an answer on your main question “Am I in a rebound relationship?”, let us first define the meaning of the whole concept and talk of a rebound relationship psychology.

What is a rebound relationship?

So, what is a rebound relationship? Whether you’ve found yourself rebounding or you have happened to become the one somebody else is rebounding with, in any case it may still be quite complicated to know the origins of your relations. Anyway, how can we say what a rebound relationship really is? And what makes it different from a “real” one?

A rebound relationship is a type of romantic partnership which occurs shortly after the breakup, especially if it was a significant love-based relationship. If you are currently in a relationship, but have torn a bigger part of emotional bonds with your partner, you may have already initiated that rebound period before you even left the relationship. If you proceed really quickly from a durable relationship you were in to another romantic relationship - then you’re likely to find yourself in this type of relationship.

Can a rebound relationship work? Well, it depends. Does a rebound relationship last? Let me say – 50/50. This kind of relationship is always a distraction. A rebound relationship after divorce can look like a pretty fine thing keeping you away from being forced to experience all the emotional pain of the breakup. But in most cases, it makes a misguided attempt to forget everything and move on with your life. Once being rejected by their long-term partners, many people are known to jump back to the dating stage as they fear staying alone with their thoughts. It might be a quick fix, which can help them drown out their deep pain by relieving a great part of the emotional intensity and substituting it with a new romantic adventure.

Being a rebound man might come with a bunch of different signals that can range from “she’s obviously looking for a serious deal” to “she is trying to get serious way too fast.” Thus, the most precise way to be 100% confident you are not helping your new girl get over her ex is to trace particular signs, some of which may be the following.

7 signs you are a rebound guy

“I can’t believe it I’m her rebound.” There’s absolutely no denying some of us may have come to such a sad conclusion when dating a new person at one point or another. Either way, rebound relationships are quite a common thing. But should you immediately “disconnect” from that girl just because you happened to be the first person she dates after quitting her previous relationship? As that might not always be the case, we have outlined 7 telltale signs of a rebound relationship pointing out you are actually in a rebound relationship that may not end in marriage. Learn how to spot the right moment and escape that useless binding.

1. Your relationship is slow…or too fast. Then again slow

When two people are truly in love, each one of them will be quite afraid to take chances and make hasty moves. However, when you are stuck in a rebound relationship, everything your new girlfriend wants to do is shift full ahead simply because she does not really care about losing her temporary love venture.

Rebound relationships traditionally tend to go at two speeds – snail slow, giving you that feeling of moving backwards and at light speed, such as her making plans on how many kids you will have when you barely know one another. In the first case, it is apparent enough that the person in front of you was hurt in the past and just is not ready yet to open her heart to another person. But the second situation denotes that she so badly misses the times of being in a relationship she is actually skipping all the most vital stages of dating period, like getting to know each other in the first place.

Do not allow your new romantic partner to decide the pace. And if you already did, there’s a chance you might eventually find yourself a rebound man. You definitely don’t wish to be left in the dust when she decides to give up on you.

2. Your girlfriend is literally glued to her ex

Another telltale sign providing a positive answer on “Am I a rebound guy?” Does she talk about her unlucky relationship, like, most of time? Does she still keep a boat load of pictures with her ex in her phone? Or does she cry on your shoulder sobbing about her heartbreak surprisingly often? Don’t be misguided, it’s surely not some exceptional honor and a sign of you being the chosen one to nurse her broken heart, bringing it back to life. Hell no, you won’t “fix” anything. It is pretty easy to assume that once she’s finally healed from her “wounds”, she will potentially look for a better partner than you are, having completely forgotten about you happening around and saving the day. If you can hardly squeeze even one moment of an actual sincere fun between all the tear-filled outbursts about her ex, rush, not walk away.

3. You have lots of sex…tons!

Your sex is plain awesome in the recent days. But you have absolutely no idea about how to progress with your relations. You are having tons of fun cuddling up with your new lover and you aren’t even aware what stage of a relationship you are presently on. Both of you are fully satisfied with the fun part of your new romance rather than worrying about some more serious parts that really matter.

There can be a million of other signs you’re in a rebound relationship you might miss out, but definitely not the fact of constantly having sex with absolutely no strings attached. You may be thanking God for sending you such a perfect partner, but the real point is that rebounders are likely to be using sexual intimacy as a means of distraction allowing them to be “connected” to somebody and not diving into commitments and developing even deeper feelings. If your new girlfriend claims to be in a committed and long-term relationship with you, though still never wants to talk over some more profound things right in between banging your brain out, you may have one of the signs you’re a rebound.

4. Yet the communication is surface-level

No doubt, you are having plenty of talks, but do they ever touch upon any serious aspects of your relationship? You discuss a movie you’ve seen this weekend or ask your girl to tell something about her growing. But any of those topics includes you two as a couple. See, this is precisely how she makes sure you are no more than a teddy bear to be played with.

5. She’s too obsessed posting pics of you two on the social networks

A good one among all the rebound relationship signs. You watch her constantly snapping dozens of photos and posting those on Instagram, Facebook and wherever not. Agree, this can be a bit embarrassing. Especially if those pics bear captions like, for example “Me and my sweet boo! He is soooo awesome!” or anything having an over-exaggerated effect. If a girl is doing her best to demonstrate you to every single person on the planet, it may mean she surely got something to prove to someone else. Plus when you know she’s just out of another relationship, it can be her desire to show her ex how happy she is without him.

6. You feel yourself like a long-awaited trophy

Alright, you know, it is plain different thing to be loved and appreciated and to be shown off just like a war trophy. You are a living human, in fact, and your girlfriend must think the same about you when you two are in private as well as in public. So if you see your girl frequently boasting about your particular qualities when her friends, family members or co-workers are around, but as soon as you are left in private – she hardly mentions all those “outstanding” qualities. Be sure, she is not appreciating you, rather doing all the possible things to make people around jealous about her new super partner. You may be feeling good for a short while, yet it might start annoying you sooner or later.

7. Her previous relationship was long-term and…fell apart in one moment

An enormously huge sign of you being used as a rebound is that she has actually been in a long-term relationship even for a couple of years and then it all ended. Without a single doubt, some people need far more time to be healed completely, so if they have jumped into other person’s bed right off, they certainly need more time. Okay, just kidding. But, anyway, you must always stay alert in such situations to not to find yourself in a love triangle. Cause, you know, maybe she has not fully given up on her ex.

What have we learned?

So, you’ve finally received an ultimate answer to “what is a rebound guy?” as well as learned that rebounding is often quite selfish confirming the saying “the best way to get over a person is to get under another one.” When it comes to rebound relationships, things are rarely to go pretty well, so good chances are your new “love” is there with you only to help herself forget her ex (or exes, in fact) and use you like a power bank to recharge her own “battery”. That’s why a rebound might not mean some serious relationship with a decent person, vice versa, it almost always means approaching other person when she tries to forget everything she used to have once. Thus, always be cautious when engaging in a romantic relationship if you want it to last as long as possible. Good luck!