Why are relationships so hard to maintain?

The only possible way for your relationships to stand the test of time is a mutual will to test yourselves in various circumstances. Although there are many indirect causes of failed relationships, like interlacing but not fully coinciding life trajectories caused by alterations in self-perception, the primary reason is well-known. What causes ultimate breakups is a crucial shortage of an inborn feeling called love to an individual with a different gen set, which is conveyed in the lack of attention followed by mistrust and subsequent communication pitfalls.

You won't miss good advice on securing your diminishing and degrading feelings if there's one, but there isn't. A complete acceptance of your partner isn't inevitable, and she may have flaws that irritate you or principles you disagree with. The following text will help you recognize such vulnerabilities and intervene before more detrimental damage is done.

Why a pursuit of a perfect match is nonsense

Mostly because differences with your partner are visible from the first view, like her recurring, irresistible attacks of generosity and your stinginess (rarely vice versa). If you want your inescapable destiny to help you build a long-lasting relationship, you must understand and adjust to this diversity. It's like working out in the gym together but allowing your better half to skip exercises from time to time because she has a perfect physique and is there to encourage you to get rid of some extra pounds. 

In a short time, you accidentally conclude that her strawberry pretzel pie is what you have always praised her for, no matter how hard she tries to overlook your moaning part in the gym. While you thought she had nothing but a Nefertiti posture, she has a brilliant sense of humor, especially the way she worships your wit that follows your wisdom. And while you enjoyed playing with her D cups, she reflected on the perplexing silliness of being beyond you, and you never feel grieved every time you grab a drink or refuse to visit a yoga class.

Over a longer period, a relationship funnel may become clogged with claims, blames, and stuff like smashed crockery and stained walls, the shreds of evidence of your coinciding ideas and beliefs. Those may end up with your and your partner’s differing views on anything, starting with TV shows and ending with health and upbringing kids. The latter doesn't mean your paths diverge — you two are gradually ceasing to exchange pheromones and trying to return your time of love. 

Your wish to bring your recent feeling back meets the non-acceptance of your girlfriend's habits or passive-aggressive attempts to change you. Surprisingly, unidirectional impulses and efforts become divergent, fueling a deeply felt resentment in both hearts. Later, your irritation might lead to ultimatums contrary to family interests and predispose the imminent but never ambivalent end.

Neither you nor she is a typical problem, but you as a couple have contradictions that erode relationships. It's a devastating experiment of yours to change your partner invariably and obtain new habits to fill up your love tank. Don't let your residual feelings dry off and make your relationship a desert.

Common values, common goals, common future

You don't have to stick with a woman leading a healthier lifestyle and trying to change the eating habits that drive you insane unless she's super sexy, but this is not an option if she’s dumb as wood in anything out of her interest. If your sweetheart doesn’t share your junk food values and projects her insecurities about your physical and mental health onto you, that’s annoying. But you love her and don’t want her to feel insecure about your physical condition that she finds degrading but, in truth, not willing to adjust and adapt to her wonderland.

It is a well-known dilemma for couples getting used to a comfortable relationship routine of seeing each other for ages. When you first saw her, you weren't thinking about what she eats to look so magnificent, nor you grasped the idea of a drastic change in your schedule. The more reciprocity you expect from her at first glance, the less you receive later in a happy life with your particular person.

Remember that natural hormonal outburst of a pair of turtle doves promising to care for one another till the end of days? A more sensitive dove always feels the decline in attention and emotional fulfillment but can't express the resentment categorically. And you still take each other for granted even though your wings got torn and jagged with the time that had whirled you high in the sky. 

If you no longer feel loved and cared for, ask yourself how your woman feels in the case, which could have homogenous consequences. Being in a committed relationship is much more important for her than any of your college football bets. If you feel that your love tank is still half full, it's time to reset your heart and be patient but never retreat — she won’t forgive you but never confess it. 

Share your love residues unconditionally, as most women don’t keep track of time behind you and might still need your ongoing care more than continued indifference, which will secure your emotional well-being in the longer run.

Why evaluating all aspects of your relationship matters

If you want the relationship to last longer and meet up with your grandkids eventually, you need to get rid of a consumptive approach toward each other, leaving the lifestyle based on exploiting your generosity. Your masculine magnanimity should manifest in bringing awareness to your woman that her voice isn’t echoed around your body. Evaluating your mutual actions is key to a successful relationship, but avoid judging her, especially in a sexist way, and don’t let her do the same in return.

Begin with evaluating your relationship right from when you first met, no matter how long it has been since. Try to comprehend and acknowledge any minor change, anything relevant to notice that gives you a clear understanding of your past, present, and future together. With such a chronological perspective, you won't miss any household or psychological fragments split from the whole puzzle.

Habits reaping the whirlwind in a relationship are usually sowed during childhood years of anxiety and fear, rarely through suffering and sorrow. For you, entirely realizing and implementing certain practices to eliminate the negative effect of such an experience on the way to a prosperous life is a must. If her obsession with health reduces your quality of life, you should devalue her efforts a little but not offensively.

With this understanding of your separate selves, you might find it much easier to renovate your pair and have new commitment perspectives ahead. Once you say goodbye to the lazy, pretzel-obsessed you who does not care about own health, she'll hang a whip. Instead, she won’t vex you with her compulsive yoga rituals, remembering your negative experience and following aversion to Buddhist Ponzi schemes.

Communication is the key to long-lasting relationships

From this point, disaster follows if you are unwilling to have more productive conversations and accept and respect the distinctive blend of thoughts, images, and views of one another. You may find your lady’s principles amusing, but you just can’t find them delusional; otherwise, what else would you find delusional in her female-embodied essence? Your articulated principles that, unlike rules or ideas, are broad and aren’t usually accurate, and sometimes don’t apply because of their absurdity, so don’t press on her.

Your communication stands on the principle of open declaration of decisions and perspectives of your living. This principle is more effective than any imperative statements or commands that won’t make you both trust or feel comfortable in one room. Hence, instead of letting your interpersonal contacts go with the flow, well-established principles of free speech help you hinder the development of less proficient communication patterns.

What could you two openly discuss without a pause? Particularly anything from her $300 haircut to an erroneous pursuit to modify your “dangerous” habits, which temporarily satisfies but permanently eradicates your commitment to a healthy and safe being. Before you accept and learn to live with her flaws, ensure the smooth talk at your disposal won’t make it worse and bring up excessive aggression within your family unit.

Keep calm and peacefully work on the issues of miscommunication and misunderstanding especially evoked by the cultural gaps with a woman from overseas. You should decide how crucial such matters are for your relationship not to be labeled as abusive or generally toxic for both parties. If your relationship is great most of the time but looks unwell occasionally — learn how to plan adequate articulation to enhance the delivery of a solution appropriate for both of you.

Why do you experience a lack of trust, and how to solve this issue?

You trust each other when having enough evidence of honesty and reliability that raises credibility,  safety, and security. It’s particularly her firm belief in your power to protect her from the violent current and your confidence in her faithfulness. Typical behavioral patterns that imply you or your partner suffers from mistrust may look like the following:

• You always assume the worst. You still expect the worst from people around you, especially those who have helped you.
• You look too suspicious. You have a mindset of an undercover FBI agent keeping suspicious about other people's intentions, even if there is nothing to guess.
• You lack forgiveness. Impossible to move on after a betrayal if you don’t elaborate on your mental condition marked with bitter resentment for the injury from your loved one.
• You estrange yourself. Building a wall of sorrow and denial between you and the people around you will only lead to your pupation at a decent pace.

If mistrust impedes your ability to build healthy relationships, you won’t look overly insane, making a short step toward a decent and reliable self.

Conclusion: relationship devaluation in poor communication and lack of trust

Without an open discussion of how routine affects your relationship, you both won't be able to recognize the issues you stumble upon on your path to building a sound family unit. The simplest way to make your speech a part of an effective communication channel is to meet a feeling of trust from both ends. The most proficient relationship scenarios involve a crucial period to discover ethically acceptable solutions to dig it. 

Your love boat can endure any challenges on its way, but you, cap, must be able to trust the crew as yourself. Nobody’s interested in your suppressed frustrations exploding without warning and causing a revolt onboard. Without trust, productive communication is impossible, and you two might only escalate the situation. 

Each of you should learn to report your case and express sentiments calmly and candidly from the point of unpretentious knowledge. If you struggle to rely on your woman, especially when she has been faithful and loving, you should identify the origin of such suspiciousness asap. Indeed, your diligence based on common sense will help you get around reefs, but your boat won’t ever sail against the wind of love.