How to Become a Gentleman and Is It Still Relevant in 2020?

You can hear about gentlemen here and there, and it is not about the last movie directed by Guy Ritchie. It is about men’s qualities, their attitude to women, and their behavior in society. When people say that someone is a gentleman, they endow a man’s image with attractive and valuable characteristics. Everyone around realizes that they are talking about a worthy man, one of the best representatives of the male gender. Back in days, it was a kind of title that suggested a man’s noble bloodline, good education, and value to society. Thus, when a gentleman made a proposal, a young woman could be in the seventh heaven, especially if her family was poor. However, do modern men want to find out how to be a gentleman?

Gentleman's Definition

A gentleman is a man of noble birth. 19th-century British statesman Robert Peel said it took three generations to create a gentleman. In the Middle Ages, gentlemen were called members of the English untitled nobility. In the Victorian era, the concept of "gentleman" was somewhat transformed and at the same time, finally formed. A gentleman was a superbly educated and nobleman who lived on the income from his property or inheritance.

And talking about the definition of a gentleman in the popular culture, it is an image of an elegant man who strictly follows the rules of etiquette. In modern society, this proud title is attributed to men who are gallant and extremely respectful towards women. Even despite emancipation, every girl wants to be treated like a lady. Thus, when you meet single ladies for dating, you should behave like a gentleman.

So, who is a gentleman? It is a man who stands out from the crowd with his great qualities. To be a gentleman doesn’t mean to boast of style, manners, and character, it is about demonstrating your good manners. It's like a brand that speaks for itself. A gentleman is a brand that not everyone can afford. Someone is a brand of fast-food noodles, while another one represents Rolex.

Characteristics of a Gentleman

If you don't know how to become a gentleman, it is worth making a small investigation and finding out the crucial characteristics of a gentleman without which you cannot do. Stereotypical gender roles have changed over the years, and their traditional essence has practically disappeared. Nowadays, men don’t get up when a woman decides to leave the table, but they continue to open the door in front of her. And even though many girls strive to be on equal footing with their men, they still prefer to date gentlemen and build families with such guys. Sometimes, one of the reasons why women leave men is the obvious indifference of the latter. So, how to act like a gentleman? What qualities of a gentleman should you develop to stand out from the rest?

1. He is honest

Noble men don’t lie, and they are always honest with others, especially when it comes to their dearest people. They know the value of trust, and they don’t want to put it at risk. So, if you are going to become a gentleman, start being straightforward and honest with others.

2. He is attentive

When the other person speaks, he listens carefully to them. He is not distracted by the phone or the TV. A gentleman maintains eye contact with their interlocutor and listens to everything they say. The gentleman also always notices how others look. Thus, if he is in a company of a charming lady, he can make a genuine compliment.

3. He keeps his word

If he has promised something, he tries to do his best to implement the promise. He needs to keep his word and stay a man of his word. Nowadays, it is a rare quality since people are used to saying things just to get some benefit.

4. He isn’t rude

A gentleman is not a drama queen. He tries to stay calm and polite in any situation. Thus, even if the service leaves much to be desired, he behaves with dignity and doesn’t get personal. So, he knows how to control his emotions, empathize, and respect others.

5. He pays the bill

If a gentleman asks a woman out on a date, he always pays the bill. He doesn’t consider any other option. And if it is about dealing with a feminist, who insists on sharing the bill, he still offers several times to pay the whole bill, and only then he can give in to her.

6. He is polite

It may seem a trifle, but a gentleman always says, “thank you,” “you are welcome,” and demonstrates politeness and respect towards other people. There is nothing difficult in this habit, but it helps earn additional scores.

7. He offers his jacket

If its cold outside and his woman isn’t dressed for this weather, then a gentleman will offer his jacket. Such a man is always ready to scarify his comfort for the sake of a lady he spends time with.

8. He is never late

A gentleman doesn’t make other people wait for him. He is good at time management and always comes on time because he respects other people. A person who is constantly late doesn’t value other people’s time.

9. His actions match his words

He knows what he wants from life, and his words match his deeds. A gentleman faces the truth, realistically evaluates his capabilities, and does everything to develop them because he understands that a real man should be a champion.

10. He is a good listener

According to statistics, only 67% of people can listen to their interlocutors during a prolonged period. A gentleman is a good listener who shows a sincere interest in the woman he is communicating with. So, how to be a gentleman to a lady? Listen to her carefully and ask questions, demonstrating your interest.

Do Women Like Gentlemen in the Modern World?

People who say that modern women don’t like gentlemen might have never asked these very women whether it is so or not. How do you think whether a woman wants to date a worthy man who treats her with respect and care? Of course, she does. Every woman wants to feel special next to her beloved one, and a gentleman gives her this feeling. His manners and behavior patterns attract because such a man looks confident and masculine. He stands out from the crowd and looks like an alpha. It is not necessary to study the secrets on how to dress like a gentleman because the main thing is to wear clean and tidy clothes, watch your hygiene and smell good. Nonetheless, you are not obliged to follow the last fashion trends and buy clothes in the most expensive boutiques. It is all about your attitude and manners, not the brand of your shirt.

How to Become a Gentleman

Any man can change if he has a strong desire to do that. If you decide that the time has come to change your life for the better, then you can study some rules of being a gentleman and try to adhere to them. The following things should become your motto that you constantly adhere to.

1. Watch your appearance

Even though inner qualities are of great importance here, you shouldn’t forget about your appearance as well. It is especially important when you are going to win a charming lady over. Your clothes and thoughts should always be clean. So, take a shower daily, put on clean and tidy clothes and shoes. You should be neat all the time, and there are no exceptions. Women like only a controlled “mess,” so it is better not to overdo. Besides, bear in mind that a well-chosen perfume will help you earn additional scores.

2. Take responsibility

One of the crucial rules of a gentleman sounds like, “You are the only person who is responsible for your deeds.” Thus, if you did something wrong, recognize your mistake and move on. There is no need to blame everyone for your mistakes. You are a grown-up man. You are responsible for your actions and thoughts. Learn how to control yourself and don’t shift responsibility when something goes wrong. You can become upset, you can be angry, but you shouldn’t take it out on other people.

3. Don’t use curse words

If you want to become a true gentleman, you should watch your manners and language. If your speech is full of curse or plague words, you will hardly be able to make a positive impression. Your language must be free from such things if you want to look authoritatively. If you are interested in well-educated and smart women, then you should be double attentive to what you say. If someone has pissed you off, you shouldn’t begin to shout curses. Such a behavior pattern will worsen your image and take away the title of a gentleman.

4. Keep your word

A big part of being a gentleman is about respecting the time of others. If you say that you're going to meet someone at a certain time, don't be late. When you tell someone that you are going to help them with something, you should help. When you promise that you will have a project completed by a certain date, meet the deadline. Such things build trust between you and other people, and they also help you start trusting yourself. This is an underrated form of trust while you are not a gentleman yet.

5. Stay yourself

How to be a gentleman on a date? Nobody wants to date a person who tries to impersonate. Thanks to modern technologies, your professional and personal lives are fused, so you should be authentic 24/7. Let your guard down a tiny bit and stop trying to look so glossy. What's ironic about the art of being yourself is that it makes you unique. The flaws that you find annoying, can turn to be attractive to someone else. Do you prefer to be memorable or like the rest? Being at ease with yourself is a sign of a true gentleman. Gentlemen are comfortable with themselves as they are.

6. Watch your manners

The gentleman understands that everything has a price. He knows the difference between confidence and arrogance. You should never be rude to waiters or sellers, especially when you are on a date with a girl. Actually, rudeness is one of the red flags. How to be a gentleman to your girlfriend? Don’t forget to make compliments. Your manners should not appear ostentatious, and others should feel comfortable around you. Don’t show off but become a person you want to be in real.

7. Become an alpha

Yes, a gentleman certainly observes the rules of etiquette, especially in a company of a charming lady. You should switch off your mobile phone during a meeting, and show courtesy, friendliness, attentiveness. And this is not the whole list of positive qualities that a gentleman should have. Your image should be of great importance to you, and therefore, you should do everything to match it. Become a confident and masculine alpha.

Success Does Not Come by Chance

When you constantly work on yourself, you create the image of a "gentleman." The way of life and thinking change, and this gives rise to new opportunities. But do not think that you are being forced to be a gentleman or invited to this elite club. A gentleman is neither about some secret club, nor pathos, nor showing-off. It is a way of life and an example of a worthy man.