Each person has experienced a feeling of loneliness at least once, and this is quite normal. People are social beings by nature and need communication, which is why many are so diligently trying to find their soulmate. But is it necessary to look for a soul mate?
Before dating sites, marriage agencies, etc. people knew how to find each other and create healthy cells of society. What happened, and why did it become so difficult for people to get acquainted and start long-term relationships? We live in the era of globalization, and there are always a lot of people and opportunities around us. In a huge flow of information, people often get lost in themselves and create unrealistic pictures and ideas about how their soulmates should look like. Human life is constantly changing; the priorities and foundations of the society change; people become more self-centered. Because of this, we lose our dateability and do not hear our inner selves, but it is sometimes very important to know how dateable are you.
Dateability: what is it and how to check it?
Dateability means the degree of being attractive to the desired sex. Thus, if you are dateable enough, some person is very likely to date you. It's hard to call it an innate ability, but one way or another, some people find it much easier to flirt and communicate than others. What's the secret? Perhaps you should look closely at such people and study the features of their behavior.
For the most part, these people simply do not focus on finding a partner and how to be dateable but focus primarily on themselves. A strong, ambitious, and confident man will be a better candidate for a boyfriend than a guy who spends all his time at home and desperately wants to find a girlfriend. A self-confident person can simply set the goal of "I wanna meet girls now" and achieve this without much effort.
No one wants to be in a situation where a girl will not confirm a date just because she doubts you as capable of romance. To do this, you can go through a small dateability quiz and understand are you dateable at all:
1. Are you very awkward at flirting?
That is the moment when you do not understand her hints and do not know how to do it yourself. You try to control your emotions, but in the end, you either behave too rudely or too strangely, and everyone feels like you are not at ease.
2. Your palms are sweating, and your tongue is braided every time you see your crush?
Your body and gestures say a lot about you, and your insecurity can be seen on your face. It’s a terrible chilling feeling that prevents you from relaxing and behaving naturally like you used to.
3. Can you not make eye contact with the object of your adoration?
Answer this question and you will get the answer for the How dateable I am question. Your eyes become runny, your sight is directed at your feet, you hide your mimics, and an awkward blush on your cheeks appears. It may seem that you are not involved in the conversation or carefully trying to convince everyone that you in fact are.
4. You are afraid to seem funny or stupid, so you constantly choose the "right" words?
You deliberately limit your freedom of expression, repeat the phrase several times to voice it, and be very embarrassed to think "wrong." You reckon your thoughts may seem silly or ridiculous.
5. You're trying too hard to please?
You are too afraid that the person will not like you, you try to do everything perfectly, and in the end, this is what spoils the impression. You try too hard and sometimes overdo it.
6. You underestimate yourself and your strength?
You think that you are not handsome enough, strong enough, or rich enough, and before a date, you will definitely google "am I dateable quiz." Your hands constantly reach out to straighten your shirt or hair.
7. Are you unsure of your attractiveness and the interest in your personality?
It seems to you that your companion will definitely pay attention to the hump on your nose, to the fact that your left leg is 1 centimeter shorter than the right one, or that you did not have time to shave your sideburns in the morning. You think whether it’s worth telling how at the age of 5, you fell off a swing and broke your leg and whether this story won’t be very boring and drawn out.
If most of the answers are “yes," then most likely the question, "am I dateable?" you will receive the answer "no." The problem of nervousness, excessive insecurity, and shyness in the context of building relationships haunts many. The reasons for this can be both purely individual and universal. The question is brewing: "how to become dateable?"
Guide for guys how to become dateable
1. Do you really need a relationship?
The answer will turn out as a good start for you in searching for the soulmate. Sometimes people just want to get rid of the emptiness inside, but relationships cannot always help with this. You need to be able to get along with yourself, analyze your actions and thoughts, and understand what you want from life, and that is how to be dateable. A girl/boyfriend is not a means to comfort and improve the quality of your life. Perhaps you should thoroughly reconsider your priorities and goals, find your vocation or your dream job, and everything vital will come naturally over time. Try to understand yourself; in a relationship, you always need to start with yourself, and not expect that they will adjust to you and serve as a panacea for your troubles.
2. Take time for your appearance.
Do not judge the book by the cover, and of course, the personality and inner world are very important, but we all, first of all, trust our instincts and evaluate each other's appearances. If you don't take care of yourself, you don't want to look better and healthier, and you don't care about your figure, skin, etc., then you should not raise the bar for yourself and try to build a relationship with a girl who knows her own worth. Be objective or raise your level; otherwise, there is a great risk that you will be left alone with your unkempt nails and hair.
3. Don't be afraid to be yourself.
It is very important to show yourself as you are. Yes, maybe on the first date, you will surprise her by listening to the same music as her, but in the future, you will not be able to deceive your partner, and you simply will not succeed. It's quite normal that you like rock, for example, and she likes rap, you will have something to talk about. Do not pretend, and do not make yourself another person.
4. Be easily reachable.
Don't make yourself a hard-to-reach and very busy person if you are not. Inconsistency and eternal disappearances from online do not attract, but rather repel. You become an unattainable object, and at the beginning of a relationship, only what is happening here and now is what brings positive emotions and inspires.
5. Do not be distracted.
If, when sitting with her in a cozy cafe and chatting about something, you want to check your Instagram feed, try not to do it until you get home. It is clear that in the modern world, people automatically reach for the phone to scroll the news, but your companion may take this for disrespect. Imagine how embarrassing it is to speak to someone who is constantly distracted and shows no apparent interest.
6. Don't be afraid to take responsibility.
In most cases, your companion will be pleasantly surprised by how you planned the date and came up with an "entertainment plan". In this way, you will create unforgettable memories and pleasant emotions that will affect the future of your relationship with her. Show her that you can and should be trusted.
7. Be her friend.
It is very important to build friendships first. Passion comes and goes, and your affection and loyalty to each other will be based on mutual assistance and respect, common interests and goals, partnership, and trust. Share everything you can, find common hobbies, and make joint plans.
8. Be ready to do things.
Of course, on the first date, you do not need to make a fuss over her. But if you understand that she is "the one," then be ready to compromise: give in when needed, get benefits from relationships, and give a lot in return.
Romantic relationships are not an integral part of life, but they can significantly embellish our existence, and sometimes fill it with actual meaning. Therefore, it is very important to be able to open up with people, do things together, and share your grief and joy. Despite all the difficulties in building correct and long-term relationships, they often pay off and bring many unforgettable experiences. It's nice to know that next to you, there is a person who understands you and whom you understand.
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