Why Do Women Fake Orgasms?

Tons of psychological studies and statistical data prove that around 25% of all women fake orgasms regularly. The reasons women do it are numerous and complex. How many times you or your partner was caught doing this? Is this a right thing to do? Can it help? Is a fake orgasm better than no orgasm at all? Surely, these and other questions come to your mind from time to time. In order to have a fulfilling sexual intercourse there are things every person should know.

What is a fake orgasm? Faking orgasms are, essentially, a show, a demonstration of superficial orgasm features without real pleasure. When a woman is faking orgasm she moans, trembles, and screams trying to prove to her partner that she experiences orgasm. The first and most important reason why girls fake orgasms is to please their partners. She may like him but can’t experience a real orgasm. To keep the game on and to cultivate his enthusiasm she makes him think she experienced a real orgasm. Most definitely, men who are unable to make their partners experience orgasm become really depressed. They feel helpless and disappointed, even offended. Knowing this, women prefer to fake orgasms instead of pushing their partners away.

Women fake orgasm to end sexual intercourse faster. She may be not in the mood, tired, stressed, depressed or distracted. However, loving her partner she agrees to have sex even though she really does not want to. Almost all men feel offended when their partners don’t want to have sex. Naturally, two sexual partners just cannot always have equal desire for a sexual intercourse. A woman fakes orgasm when she has sex even though she doesn’t feel like having sex.

Two partners can be in love but experience problems in bed. A woman can be satisfied with everything about her partner but sexually he can be disappointing. Women fake orgasms so their partners could feel they are doing okay when, in fact, there are problems to face. The co-author of a Canadian sexology study about the nature of orgasm Monika Stelzl, Ph.D. says it is much harder to achieve orgasm for a woman than it is for a man. Female orgasm depends on clitoris and many typical sex positions block access to clitoris.

What Does Fake Orgasm Stand For?

Fake orgasm is a feature of problematic sexual relationships. A woman can be disappointed in her partner’s attitude, approach, and technique. A woman’s sexual partner may be sympathized as a good husband or a reliable caretaker but fake orgasms mean that partners have sexual problems. Faking orgasms on a regular basis worsens the problem because sexual discontent stays.

According to a new study presented at the British Psychological Society’s Psychology of Women annual conference when partners are pleased with each other, they do not wish to make sex end faster. A woman who fakes orgasms, though, makes it to accelerate her partner’s orgasm and to end the intercourse. It means that she is uncomfortable with the sexual intercourse and has sex only to please her partner, not herself.

The Psychological Approach to Fake Orgasms

Relationship counselors treat fake orgasms negatively. Its only positive feature is that it helps woman to end the intercourse she does not really want and make her partner stop. When the case involves serious long-perspective relationships and couples fake orgasms, it is only part of a bigger problem. This typical problem sooner or later appears in almost all relationships. Years of sexual intercourse with one partner bring forth the lack of desire, interest, affection, and excitement.

A clinical psychologist Emily Thomas claims that fake orgasm is both a physical and a psychological problem. A woman cannot experience a real orgasm because of physical factors: her partner’s body, face expressions, attitude, and her own looks as well. Psychologically, a woman fakes orgasm only if she really cares about her partner. This fact implies that the partners are in love, have plans for the future, like being together, etc.

Even though sex is only half of what sensual romantic relationships appear to be, 50% is a pretty serious take to ignore. Moreover, women cannot blame their fake orgasms entirely on their partners. When a woman is stressed, depressed, or anxious no matter who her partner is and how effective he is in bed, she is less likely to have an orgasm.

Sex without Orgasm

Sexual frustration, unfulfilled desire, and anxiety all come along with fake orgasm. Women who fake orgasms all the time should try changing the attitude of their own and of their partners as well. Or break up with them. Spicing up sexual life can also help. Women fake orgasms when they feel uncomfortable. Therefore, it may be caused by setting. Periods of life that involve personal problems or professional difficulties can also decrease the possibility to have an orgasm.

Sexologist Debby Herbenick says that the process of sex is one of the most important parts to consider. Practically speaking, even partners who do not really like each other may both have orgasms if only their technique is suitable. Women who do not change their positions, are distracted, and ignore foreplay and/or oral sex decreases their chances to experience an orgasm.

In such complex thing as sexual relationships, everything matters: looks, clothes, attitude, positions, gestures, techniques, atmosphere in relationships etc. There can be a lot of reasons for a woman to fake her orgasm. Psychologist Gerald Schoenewolf, Ph.D., says she may fear to get pregnant or don’t really want to experience pleasure because of guilt. Anything negative in relationships between the partners can influence female orgasm. Just like that, anything positive can make female orgasm more likely to happen.

How to Spot a Fake Orgasm?

Honestly, women fake orgasms so easily and convincingly that it is close to impossible to say whether orgasm is real or not. Only a woman herself knows for sure. Because men are distracted and excited both emotionally and physically, they are easily manipulated. However, there are ways to reveal the truth with women who do it constantly. One condition, though, requires a man to see his woman experience real orgasm as well. It is needed in order to make a comparison.

Let’s assume you are eager to know whether a woman fakes it or not. So, how to tell if a woman is faking an orgasm? Begin by remembering your best mutual sexual experience. Look hard through your memory and choose a couple of times you think she definitely wasn’t faking it. You can do it by collecting details: her behavior before and after sex, her attitude, gestures, mimics, thoughts, and statements. Did she kiss you after sex? Was she just lying on the bed trying to stabilize her breathing or started to do other things immediately? The latter is a bad sign, probably she was faking it.

When you remembered your sexual experience that was perfect, ideal, and best of the best, proceed to the next step. Try to remember the worst sexual experience you’ve ever had with your partner. Don’t focus on yourself, pay attention to her attitude and behavior. Did she start to argue right after sex? This is bad sign. Was she irritated shortly after? Again, bad sign. Were you making an effort to get her having sex or did he volunteer? All these details are important because when you know your best sex and worse sex, the difference can help you to spot a fake orgasm.

What to Do to Make an Orgasm Real?

There are many options which could improve sexual intercourse. Specialists advise to have sex rarely because frequent sex is less likely to end with orgasm. In order to have a real orgasm, a woman needs to be sexually attracted to her partner. Couples’ counselors do not suggest being involved in the sexual relationships out of guilt. To reach an orgasm, sex must be entirely and completely voluntary. Healthy lifestyle can stimulate orgasm. Eating healthy food, working out, and being confident in the partner can eliminate the necessity to fake orgasms. A woman who is afraid she might get pregnant should use contraceptives of all kinds. It might also be helpful to have a conversation with the partner giving him a choice: fake orgasm or no sex at all. A truly loving partner would prefer the latter option because insincere and involuntarily sex even between the people who truly care for each other is ineffective.

To make orgasm real the partner must be suitable. A suitable partner is somebody whose attitude and approach during sexual intercourse are pleasant for a woman. Woman herself, on the other side, must to be stressed or anxious. Problems in bed can be caused by other personal problems. Seek counseling to know what your or your partner’s problems are. It is impossible to resolve an issue if it is not clearly defined.

Psychologists, counselors, and sexologists do not have a concrete opinion on whether fake orgasm is better than no sex at all. After all, a woman does not know whether she is going to have an orgasm or not until she is involved in the intercourse. But preliminary conditions also matter. Be attentive to what your partner feels in order to make the best out of your sexual experience.

Finally, remember that a fake orgasm is not always bad. At rare occasions it might seem as a nice gesture. A woman does not want to disappoint her partner. In order to do so, she has sex even though she does not want to and imitates orgasm. From a certain perspective it is the expression of care and understanding. Some studies suggest that men are more dependent on sex and feel offended when their partners refuse to have intercourse. Men interpret it as rejection. The frequency of fake orgasms is all it takes to define whether it is a real problem or not.