10 Signs You're Dating a Sociopath


Wait! What?! That's probably your first reaction to the article's title, as there is no way on earth that you could be dating a sociopath man or woman without noticing them. Like, come on, they are antisocial and you can easily tell. They are keeping a low profile, so there is unlikely such a thing as sociopath dating. They are probably keeping quiet, locking themselves up in their flats, hating everyone around. Well, if that's what you think about a sociopath, bad news for you, you know nothing about sociopathy.

signs you are dating a sociopath​

What is a Sociopath?

According to the free medical dictionary, a sociopath is a person with an antisocial personality disorder. This condition prevents people from adapting to ethical and behavioral standards of the society they are living in. Wow, that seems quite simple! And that person must be quite noticeable, right? Nope. While sociopaths can exhibit criminal behavior, most of them are not that easy to tell.

Sometimes, a sociopath can seem to be the life of the party, as they are intolerant towards boredom. They are constantly acting and they are pathological liars, which makes sociopaths almost impossible to tell. They lack remorse and they are often incapable of feeling guilt, but they are quite talented in pretending to be extremely shy and self-sacrificing. They are manipulative and almost incapable of feeling love. But you would honestly believe that a sociopath loves you, as he or she would say that he or she will sacrifice anything, even his or her life, for you. But that's just another way to manipulate you.

Differences Between Psychopath and Sociopath

You are probably getting a little bit confused now. So, what's the real difference between the psychopath and sociopath? After everything mentioned above, you could come to the conclusion that a psychopath is someone noticeably dangerous, while a sociopath is a very sly and manipulative person. And in that case, you are absolutely right. So, what's the main difference between them? That major difference is consciousness.

Psychopaths are not doing any harm consciously. They may be violent, but not because they want to. Sociopaths are absolutely conscious about their actions. They know when they hurt people, but they pretend that they don't realize that in order to manipulate you. Your sociopath-partner knows that his or her actions are wrong, but he or she won't admit it. Instead, he or she will pretend that he or she has never thought about it that way.

Another difference is, while psychopaths can be openly violent, sociopaths are more into poisoning people against you and subduing your will, rather than into causing you any physical damage.

Signs That You're Dating a Sociopath

After learning everything above-mentioned, you come to realize that the question "Am I dating a sociopath?" no longer sounds that ridiculous. You've learned that sociopaths are quite sly and you can't be sure whether you are dating a sociopath or not. But is there a possibility to figure out? How to tell if you are dating a sociopath? In order to help you with that, we've collected the top ten signs you are dating a sociopath, which we offer you to check out without further ado.

1. Too Good to Be True

That's the very first problem with sociopaths. You have the feeling that you've found your identical twin. Your prospective sociopath-partner seems too good to be true. He or she likes the same things that you do, have the same interests as you do. Well, you have a lot in common. You are ultimately charmed by him or her, but you get that feeling that something is not right. You might get suspicious, as you get the feeling that your prospective partner is just a good psychologist and is trying too hard to make you like him or her.

dating a sociopath woman 2. Charming, but Superficial

Continuing that too good to be true story, you get the feeling that your prospective partner's charm is somehow superficial. If you talk about your shared interests and likes, it turns out that their knowledge is shallow. And you get that awful feeling that they were trying to make you like them. Another thing is that they prefer talking more about things that you don't know, which allows them to control the situation. And whenever they are close to be caught red-handed, they immediately change the topic and start talking about something you know little to nothing about.

3. Extremely Controlling

Now, if early signals hadn't worked for you and you got trapped dating a female or male sociopath, you are going to experience an extremely controlling relationship. One of the most typical signs that you are dating a sociopath is that your each and every move is controlled. Your behavior is going to be manipulated by your partner. Your partner is going to decide which of your friends are good for you and which are not. Your partner is going to decide for you which activities you should participate in and which you shouldn't.

4. Mood Swings

If you are dating a sociopath be sure that you are going to face mood swings. While mood swings are considered to be typical for dating a female sociopath, the same happens when you are dating their male counterparts. For example, you are going to the cinema and it seems that you both liked the film, but then, all of a sudden, your partner gets angry and depressed. You had other plans for the evening, but you need to cancel them because your partner has no mood for that any longer. How to know if you are dating a sociopath? Pay attention to the mood swings.

5. Preying on Good Qualities

You have a big heart? Well, get used to the fact that you are constantly hurting your partner's feelings. You don't want to go to that party? You think that you have the right, because, you know, your partner has mood swings, so why can't you have them? Well, your partner put a lot of efforts to carve some time to go to that party with you and you... you are just being rude and ungrateful. You are hurting his or her feelings. You are a heartless person. And of course, your partner is a victim. And you need to do everything to make him or her comfortable. Quite typical, when dating a narcissistic sociopath.

6. Fancy Talking

Your partner is telling you all the time how he or she was waiting for you all of his or her life. And your partner is telling you something like that over and over again. You mean so much to him or her. You are the best boyfriend or girlfriend that he or she ever head. And with time you get the feeling that it's nothing more than fancy talking. And the more you are reminded about that, the more it feels that their true intent is to make you feel bound to the relationship with them. You feel that you are sort of the meaning of his or her life and your partner won't survive the breakup.

7. No Responsibility for the Past

Quite often your partner tells you about some strange and even awful situations from his or her past, but whatever had happened it wasn't his or her fault. Even if you get the feeling that your partner was to blame, he or she claims that 'someone made me do it', 'if it wasn’t for them, I would never do that' and 'it wasn't my fault, it's the way I was brought, so it's my parents' fault', etc. That's quite typical for sociopaths not to take responsibility for their misdeeds in the past. And you can figure out that if your partner is not taking responsibility for his or her past, it's unlikely that he or she would take responsibility for anything he or she's doing now.

8. Not Many Friends

Your partner doesn't have a lot of friends. They have two or three friends with whom they don't seem to be very close. Aside from that, their past is quite elusive. They don't talk much about their past relationship. And if you ask why they don't have many friends, you won’t get some explanation like 'it is really hard for me to find interesting people to communicate with'. But it doesn't seem that they are interested in communicating with their friends. And that's the person who's telling you whom you should be friends with.

dating a narcissistic sociopath 9. Cruel Treatment

Your partner is treating you badly quite often. And based on the way he or she's treating his or her friends, you get a more obvious explanation of why your partner doesn't have a lot of them. The last two or three were the only ones who could take his or her attitude. But mostly a sociopath tries to hide how heartlessly he or she can treat someone. That's why you may catch your partner red-handed only when he or she doesn't know that you are watching.

10. You Need to Clean Up the Mess

As if the previous points weren't enough, your partner is getting into some mess, which you need to clean up. You might find the money missing and you might experience problems with your friends and relatives, as your interests and needs are not your partner's priority. And your partner is getting into mess because of their risk- and sensation-seeking behavior. And you are the one who has to clean up the mess after your partner. Sometimes, you get the feeling that's your main purpose in relationship with your partner.

Breaking Up With a Sociopath

As soon as your partner shows the signs of a sociopath, there are two ways you can cope with it. Either you are going to deal with that or you are going to break up with your partner. In the case when you decide to deal with your sociopath partner, your best option is to consult a shrink to make everything right. But if you decided to break up with your sociopath partner, you should do it cold turkey.

Don't give your partner any reasoning. Just say that you are no longer interested in your relationship and that you feel nothing. Avoid any contact with your ex-partner. Don't pick up the phone. Don't answer his or her massages. And we mean it, as a sociopath would try to win you back immediately after the breakup. That's how to get over dating a sociopath.

Avoiding the contact with your ex-partner is quite important, as a sociopath can do everything to manipulate you into thinking that you are guilty. That you are hurting his or her feelings. A sociopath may even threaten you that he or she would commit a suicide. But don't believe that. A sociopath would tell the same to anyone. Remember that they rarely feel remorse.

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