Examples of Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships


Do you feel that you are constantly being let down? Do you feel that nothing is ever going according to plan in your relationships? This is probably due to your unrealistic expectations of love. When we expect specific results from each situation, we get frustrated and disappointed because everything doesn’t always go the way we want. And this is an unpleasant fact. Moreover, our desires, in most cases, cannot be realized. It seems that everything goes according to plan, yet in your head, things were still different.

This leads to the strongest dissatisfaction with the current life situation. In this case, having unrealistic expectations are to blame.

Sometimes you just need to do and not expect anything. To restore balance in the head, it is important to separate realistic expectations from and unrealistic. Read in our today’s article how to minimize the influence or unrealistic expectations of marriage, sex or love.

unrealistic expectations in relationships

Why We Have Unrealistic Expectations

We live day after day, having unrealistic expectations of sex or a relationship that later make us suffer. We expect certain qualities and moral values from our colleagues, employees, relatives, and loved ones. Unrealistic expectations in friendships are a whole another topic as well. We expect something from our career and our daily life. There is a certain measure of what can be expected, for example, we can ask our loved ones for loyalty and support. But if we think that we will live our whole life together with this person, and our beloved one will support us always and, in any situation, this is already not so close to real life.

If you understand that different situations can have different results and that sometimes life circumstances happen against your will, conviction, and faith, everything becomes much easier. Life deprived of unrealistic expectations in relationships is more liberating. If you carry on composing a virtual list of what the people around you MUST do, you will be disappointed anyway.

Yes, your loved ones should know the things that are important to you because they are your closest people. But if you seriously think that the world will play by your rules, then you are mistaken. It is important to work on eliminating unnecessary expectations that put pressure on us. Stop thinking that the Universe works for us, and if you want something, the world around you will certainly put it into your hands. Expectations are just projections into the future and a product of our mind. Why create something that gives rise to frustration, powerlessness, and negativity? Try to minimize your unrealistic expectations of life and get down to earth. Focusing on the really important things is key.

Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships

Unrealistic expectations in a relationship are growing gradually. If you have already flashed the idea that there are no potential partners left for you, it may be that your high demands dictate these rules. Here are a few signs that will help you understand that you require too much from your relationship.

1. You judge a person based on their past relationships. Don't let the story of people’s past relationships influence your opinion of them. Of course, if we are talking about important things like cheating or toxic relationships, including emotional or physical abuse, it is worth staying on the alert. having unrealistic expectationsBut when a person does not meet your expectations because of a certain number of past romances or a failed marriage, you may be too strict. There may be some skeletons in your closet too, but they don't necessarily characterize you, do they? Each relationship is a unique experience, and a person behaves differently with each new partner.

2. Looking for a relationship without problems. Meeting the person, marrying them and never experiencing pain, having no worries and quarrels or any discomfort in the relationship. It sounds great, but this is real life, and it never happens that everything is so smooth. If you are looking for a partner who will solve all your problems, you will never find them. Conflicts, troubles, and misunderstandings in relationships are beneficial when they are constructively resolved. Unrealistic expectations of men are the reason so many young ladies cannot still get married.

3. Looking for specific physical characteristics. If you think that you know exactly what your future spouse should look like, then you choose not the healthiest way to find a partner. Your expectations about a person will not be realistic when you think of them as a set of certain physical attributes. When you do not feel a natural connection with a person, the lack of chemistry is absolutely normal. But if you automatically weed out people based only on their external features; this is not a very good sign. Next time, when you decide to reject the person because they do not match your type, try to give them a chance and at least get to know the person. This happens especially often with online dating unrealistic expectations when people post old or photoshopped photos and then face the consequences of such dishonesty.

4. Push off the people you like. The person may be good, but you will not date the cashier from the supermarket. You could have a great relationship; it is a pity that they did not reach your demands. There is nothing against a pragmatic approach for sure, but for a long-term relationship, a genuine desire for a partner means much more. If you constantly get rid of people who you really like, this is the surest sign that your expectations are too high.

5. Do not forgive mistakes. Women's unrealistic dating expectations not only hinder the search for a partner but also spoil the already established relationships. The ability to forgive is one of the key points when living together. No matter how demanding you are to people, accept the fact that everyone can make mistakes. A strict attitude will not help you find the best and will only bring chronic disappointment.

6. Giving up a person after a first date. If the first date has not particularly impressed you, it is worth giving the person another chance. When taken aback by the emotions, everyone can get ridiculous, nervous, worried, or look awkward in some situations. So, put down your prejudices and let people make up for themselves at the second meeting.

7. You expect your partner to behave in a certain way. One of the main disadvantages of dealing with people is that they are not you. This can explain the majority of conflicts and problems with society in general and with a partner in particular. We cannot demand from people that they share all our beliefs and have a similar outlook on life. Accept the fact that your beloved one is not your property; they are people with their opinions and interests. You have to consider their opinion as much as your own if you want to be happy in a relationship.

Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage

Sometimes it seems that when you get married, all the problems will be gone. Because you should know each other very well to take such a decisive step. However, unrealistic expectations in marriage get only worse. They are the aggravation of the problems that were not solved at the period of dating. Some of them may explain what so many married couples argue over:

They must read your mind. In almost any soap opera, there must be an episode as the man rushes to a girl to present her flowers as soon as she thinks about them. But life is not a movie, and no one will know what you mean until you say it. Be prepared for the fact that your desires need to be voiced, and the claims to be discussed. Silent treatments, hints and other veiled signals, unfortunately, stay unnoticed as a rule!

They must want to do everything that you do not want. Next one of the examples of unrealistic expectations. A good partner will come to your aid when you need to do household work you are so sick and tired of and act as if they have been only dreaming about it. You should not perceive your beloved one as a cold robot ready to do any work you do not feel like. Would you bear such treatment yourself?

unrealistic expectations in a relationshipYour spouse must remember every word you've ever said. On average, we use about 20 thousand words a day. Do you think it is easy to choose and remember those that really matter? Stop being offended when your beloved (oh my God), forgot what movie you wanted to watch on the weekend. If you want them to remember, just repeat important information again (preferably not at the wrong moment, like when your man is watching football, or your wife is talking to somebody else).

You will never ever get tired of each other. At the initial stages of relationships, this seems quite realistic. Because you want to spend every minute together. Of course, after all, in the period of keen love, the partners seem almost tied up to each other. But this time will wear on, and it is normal to want a little moment of solitude every now and then. So, give yourself and your beloved the opportunity to relax not to get fed up with your constant presence of each other in your lives.

If this is the right person, then living with them will be very easy. Regardless of how much you are in love with each other and how long you have been together, no one can guarantee that everything will go smoothly. Even the most ideal-looking couples have difficulties, crisis moments and loud quarrels, they just do not perceive them as the end of a relationship and can forgive each other.

Unrealistic Expectations of Sex

These unrealistic expectations of sex are some of the most common, caused by pornography propaganda or hidden mental traumas. Many immature people, unfortunately, have them:

  • Your partner should do whatever you want. This misconception has arisen thanks to porn, and today many people think their partner is set up to satisfy them in bed. Of course, if everything is discussed in advance, then your loved one may agree to bring to life all sorts of often unpleasant and sometimes dangerous, sexual fantasies you have. However, everything should go after a little foreplay, and after the common agreement.
  • You want the partner to look perfect. Body hair, inconvenient poses, bad angle or just focusing on the process can make us look not the best way. But, remember that having excess weight or looking tired, people still remain beautiful.
  • Both partners should always reach an orgasm. Not all women can achieve orgasm during penetrating sex. Just as well as not all men immediately cum from oral stimulation. Only when you know for sure what your partner likes, you can have realistic expectations. And if something went wrong, you tried a new technique or one of your just wasn’t in the right mood, do not get disappointed. Emotional connection during sex still matters even more to some people.
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