Healing After a Breakup: Essential Rules


Someone can say that true love is absolute bliss, and some argue that this is a completely absurd feeling. But any representative of these two opposite camps will agree that love can be traumatizing - when the time of breakup comes. It's not easy to let go of someone you love so much. The image of a loved one remains in your memory for a long time, and it often arises in our imagination when we try to forget it. But nevertheless, it is necessary to move on. And preferably - move on as quickly as possible.

The more you fix your attention on the fact of the breakup and on the image of the ex-partner, the more difficult it will be for you to get out of this state. Due to the fact that there is still space in your soul for another person with whom you had an unreliable relationship experience, no one else can take it. In your psyche, it is stated that the romantic relationship is mental pain and depression. The good news is that you can change this by following our recommendations.

moving on after a breakup

Anxiety After a Breakup

True happiness is incompatible with fears and anxieties. True love and a happy life full of joy are revealed to those who have freed themselves from their inner tensions and limitations and have gained genuine self-confidence. So if you don’t know what to do after a breakup, write down this statement and remember it once and forever.

Deeply hidden in our mind, anxiety, and fear are most often not realized by us. And not because they are so incredibly difficult to feel. The reason, perhaps, is different. The fact is that fears and anxieties from the very childhood have become a constant background of our life, absolutely familiar and therefore not noticed. That’s why moving on after a breakup is so difficult.

But the fact that you do not notice them does not mean that they do not exist. They still live in the soul and do not just live, they begin to gradually control you, your life, your choices and decisions, your relationships. They force you to take the paths that lead not to happiness and well-being, but, on the contrary, to regrets and sufferings. These are the dark demons of our depths. And movies to watch after a breakup won’t help you destroy them.

So let's finally look at them and understand how they were born and how they manifest themselves now and take away their power, which is so necessary on the way to building personal happiness in search of love.

However, before you start healing after a breakup, we need to decide what is the difference between fear and anxiety first. Both manifestations are emotional reactions, while fear is experienced more intensely than anxiety. It can even be said that fear develops gradually from anxiety sprouts.

For example, your loved one does not return home at the usual time. You begin to worry but still are able to remain calm. This is an anxiety. But if you imagine horrible pictures of what could happen, if you hurt yourself more and more, if you have a violent heartbeat and panic, then this is fear.

After the break in the relationship, anxiety comes more often than fear. In the first weeks and months, you do not have time to get used to your new position. Fear has nothing to eat yet - in your mind the images of a happy life together with your beloved are still very alive. However, these images faded, lost their realism and changed a bit. This is alarming. You no longer associate your personality with a happy person.

In order to return to the previous state, you are constantly looking for confirmation of love. But the usual source of self-affirmation disappeared with your partner. Most people experience a very difficult period at this stage: instead of healing after a breakup, they begin to aggravate this problem by seeking approval from outsiders. This strategy rarely leads to a positive result.

healing after a breakupYou need to work out your own attitudes on loneliness. The best cure for this is socialization. Do not try to dissolve yourself in another's society, the socialization should be rational and moderate. More often communicate with friends, find yourself a new hobby and meet new people. This is the best thing you can do with anxiety for healing after a breakup.

Depression After a Breakup

Depression and feeling lonely after a breakup - the severity of this negative state must be felt by those who had, for various reasons, had to let go of their loved one.

Everyone experiences this difficult period of life in different ways: some manage to cope due to congestion at work, while others undertake suicide attempts. To understand how to cope with depression after a breakup, it is necessary to understand why it arises and whether its occurrence can be prevented.

Everyone, at his very core, is a social being. From the very moment of our birth, we are surrounded by other people - parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts. They help educate the child in society, adapt to it, imbue with ideas and rules of conduct.

Growing up, a person assumes more and more obligations. However, we strive to create comfortable psychological conditions for ourselves - to find a pairing. And even if the relationship is not quite the way it was expected, certain hopes and dreams were connected with them. Of course, this is more typical of the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity. Since childhood, they imagine the main day of their life - a wedding. Men also, linking themselves with the union, are making plans for the future. And if the relationship is becoming obsolete, it is perceived by them rather painfully. Most of them do not know how to be happy after a breakup.

Parting with a loved one is naturally accompanied by a deep depression. It is not possible to cope with it for a few days and even weeks. Sometimes the help of a specialist is required. For the most of us, it is the only way to learn how to feel better after a breakup.

The bulk of women, having met a man and having decided that he will be the main companion of her life, seem to dissolve in him. They project all their dreams and expectations onto him, sometimes completely forgetting their desires and needs. It is especially difficult for them to reconcile themselves with the fact that the relationship has outlived itself and the "hero of the novel" no longer sees in them his "better half."

Specialists give the following recommendations how to get out of depression after parting: Overcome the first desire to retire from all people, to be locked up in your "shell". It is better to resume forgotten relationships with friends who had to be moved aside because of a family - to visit cafes, exhibitions, theaters. Yes, just arrange a "bachelorette" party and let yourself go – talk, dance, gossip if you like it.

Remember the existence of swimming pools, gyms or dance clubs - it is good for your figure, and the mood will improve against the backdrop of physical exertion. It is proved that sports contribute to the development of endorphins - hormones of joy. Engage in building a career - winning over colleagues helps overcome depression in women as nothing else. Many representatives of the beautiful part of the humanity after the severance of relations start their own business quite successfully.

If all of the above does not help - depression drags into its networks more intensively, it is better to turn to a specialist before it's too late.

However strange it may seem, men after breakup experience this state much harder, especially if this step was her initiative. Their self-esteem suffers.

Such recommendations can help men avoid depression and learn how to be happy after a breakup:

  • master a new kind of any activity - for example, scuba diving or parachute jumping;
  • meet regularly with friends - joint recreation outside the city, bowling, fishing;
  • go on a business trip abroad or on vacation;
  • make new acquaintances with optimistic people - try to follow their views on life;
  • increase your own self-esteem - take a new step on the career ladder, open your own business.

What not to do After a Breakup

how to feel better after a breakup Do not take revenge!

After the breakup, do not take revenge on a person with whom you recently shared a bed! Let's use simple arithmetic. As a rule, after the breakup, the feeling of egoism becomes acuter: how he/she could do this to me, I gave him/her so much energy. If you decide to take revenge, you are constantly haunted by obsessive thoughts, how to do it more painfully, plus you gain nervousness. You torture yourself energetically and physically, and this cannot but affect health and appearance.

Do not complain!

After a breakup, you always want to pour out your soul, express yourself and find a shoulder to cry on because then it will become easier. But here it is necessary to take into account many side effects. For example, you are guided by resentment, and you decide to tell your friend, with what a tyrant and an ungrateful person you lived all this time. As a rule, you tell your story “in all colors” touching on intimate details. But then it happens that he comes with flowers and apologies. In this case, the image of your lover will be perceived by others very negatively.

Start all the hard

Do not do what you will be ashamed of tomorrow! At the time of the breakup, many people think that the whole planet revolves around one person and it takes a long, hard time to mourn. But do not forget that the colleagues, parents, friends on the Internet can see your dances on the karaoke table the next day.

Staying Friends After a Breakup: Is It Possible?

So is staying friends after a breakup something real? For maintaining a friendship, you need trust. At least a little… Yes, you cannot even tell the ex about what is happening right now. After all, you can have a new girl, every mention of which will make the self-love of your ex hurt ("Probably, she is better! Look at the photos, how he smiles happily, someone is cooler than me!").

One side will always have resentment or reproach

No, there is no end to the relationship without bitterness and mutual reproaches. After all, why did you break up? Oh, you were sick of it? So the reason for the reproach is the simplest - you were unbearably boring, did not pay attention to her. Even if it's been a long time (you still communicate after this?!), the girlfriend or boyfriend has already forgotten the offense but simply remembers that you are boring. And you cannot be trusted.

Even if you both have found a new love of your life, it's a shame that the old one found someone better than you and does not belong to you anymore. We may not realize this with the mind, but it will press on us on a subconscious level. You cannot calmly watch how the ex-partners found their new love. Even if it's been a long time, it is unpleasant. Also, there is the following nonsense: you sincerely do not want your ex-girlfriend to be loved. You want your relationship to be something special, so she said years later, "Only with Jimmy I had a true love, I will not love anyone else." But this happens very rarely. And if the personal insult comes into the matter, you sincerely do not want her personal happiness.

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