When Is It Time to Break Up with Someone You Love?


  1. Signs It’s Time to Break Up
  2. You Cannot Live Vicariously Through Your Partner’s Achievements, but You Have to Achieve Your Own Dreams and Goals
  3. When You Know It's Time To Break Up

Besides the fact that time heals away the wounds of the past, it often turns perfectly beautiful feelings into a monotonous routine. It is impossible to constantly maintain a sense of joy and novelty as well as experience infinite happiness. However, how to understand whether your relationship has undergone a short crisis, or the feelings have cooled down forever? How to understand that it is time to end the relationship, if nothing terrible seems to have happened, but something is gnawing at you from the inside causing you to have doubts? When is it time to break up with someone you love? We will cover all of these and lots of other questions in this article. First things first, how do you know that it’s time to break a relationship?

how to know it's time to break up

Signs It’s Time to Break Up

How to know if it's time to break up? First of all, if you have doubts, this already indicates a problem. Try to figure out why you are in this relationship. What do they give you? No matter how selfish it may sound, any relationship should be about mutual benefit. But if this benefit lies only in the fact that you do not want to be left alone, and your partner is just a way to avoid loneliness, then it’s definitely time to end this relationship. If you learn to battle your loneliness yourself, then you will not need to run away from it anywhere.

We come alone in this world, we make all the really important decisions ourselves and leave it in the same solitude. You cannot try to fill this void with random people or have children for the sake of providing you with that notorious glass of water. Until you feel comfortable alone with yourself, you will be like an eternal parasite, which just sucks out all the juice and doesn’t exist without someone else’s company. And, by the way, a similar reason may hold your partner near you. Is it pleasant for you to be a backup option for someone in the absence of a better one? If you are asking yourself, “Is it time to break up with her,” and you feel like she is no longer interested or feels oppressed by the relationship, you should end them.

How to know it's time to break up? Ask yourself, do you feel like you love your partner more or less than you did when you met them? Is it all dull and depressing? Are you excited at the prospect of seeing your partner at all? Does your partner understand you? Do you understand them? Can you negotiate with them? And if you cannot, then what is the reason? Maybe you have different points of view, and you are unable to reach a consensus. Or, perhaps, you always made concessions, and you have finally got tired of it. Or maybe your opinion does not make any difference and all decisions that are made within a family do not depend on you at all. If you come across any of the above – it’s probably a sign that it’s time to break up, but on the condition that you have already tried to establish communication, but it hasn't resulted in anything.

best time to break upA relationship with the inability to communicate is, in principle, not a relationship, but a union of two people living in parallel realities. And the most alarming thing, in this case, is when your opinion is devalued in every possible way, your partner does not respect you, considering everything you say to be stupid. If everything has reached such a level, then it is time to break the relationship immediately, because, in fact, you are already undergoing psychological torture. Who can guarantee you that things will change for the better?

You Cannot Live Vicariously Through Your Partner’s Achievements, but You Have to Achieve Your Own Dreams and Goals

A very close aspect to the above is when, despite the fact that you are discussing and understanding each other in principle, your plans for life radically diverge. Let's say you dream of becoming a diplomat and travel around different countries, and your partner, in principle, does not like to move, plus they want to focus on their career growth in some mundane office. Maybe you absolutely do not want to have children, but your partner wants at least three. One way or another, if you do not settle these global differences, things will not get off the ground, and such a relationship will lead you nowhere.

By staying in them, you let your partner hope that someday, everything will be as they want. Until you are still a part of a relationship like that, your dreams will never come to be. This implies the following point: if you put an end to your plans and dreams and live the life of your partner, then in principle, you don’t live. And this is a very serious reason to ask yourself, “Is it time to break up with him?” and start living your life at last. Again, one should not confuse such an outcome of events with jointly adopted decisions and compromises because this is a completely different story.

Another alarming signal that something has gone wrong is when you are embarrassed by your partner. Perhaps, this is just some small thing, let’s say, you are worried that your partner is shorter than you, or their sense of style does not quite suit you, or it seems to you that they are not smart enough and can say something stupid about you to your friends. No matter how trivial it may seem, the fact remains that you are uncomfortable in their presence. This suggests that you are not ready to accept them in principle, especially if this happens at the beginning of a relationship when, being at the height of emotions, people do not see any flaws in their partners, then, I assure you, it will only get worse, stop the relationship. Attempts to remake a partner in your own image will only make things worse.

The same rule works for you as well: if you notice that your partner is shy of you, they do not introduce you to their friends, or even completely hide the fact of your existence from everyone, this is a reason for parting. It’s either that they have someone else in their life, or you don’t suit them. Is it time to break up when there is discomfort in a relationship, you feel awkward in each other’s presence? Absolutely, there is no point in this mutual suffering. And finally, if you feel unwelcome, disliked and your self-esteem is constantly creeping down, you start looking at other people around you, trying to get the love and recognition that you lack so much, if there is no fun in bed, and the world has become gray and dull, it is very likely that your ship is sinking. Nevertheless, in spite of all your observations and the conclusions that are being suggested, do not rush anything, do not close yourself up, do not block the partner’s attempts to speak out. In the end, we all have difficult periods and bad mood. There are many factors that we cannot expect, and everyone has the right to speak about them.

So, you already know how to identify when is it time to break up, but how can you do it properly?

When You Know It's Time To Break Up

  • Imagine that you have already parted with your “ex-partner.” What do you feel? If you feel positive emotions, then drop all doubts - it's time to end this relationship.
  • For the ultimate test, imagine that you still remain in this relationship. What do you feel now? If you feel depressed, it is hard for you to breathe, then it is time to ask yourself the question, "How to end a relationship that is filled with negative emotions?"

If you realize that your relationship has no future, then the most correct way out is to stop them. How to finish the relationship to which you have become so accustomed? Tearing away a part of life from yourself, completely changing its course, to give up what has surrounded you for a long time is not the easiest step to make. In addition, this may cause some pain to your partner, lots of people are afraid of moving on just because of that. Therefore, people carry on, they are afraid to follow their own feelings and emotions because of the possible pain that they can cause to their partners. This is wrong. You shouldn't do it out of pity alone.

If you understand that the end has come, do not torment yourself with hopes.

What is the best time to break up? Your decision about the separation must be communicated in person. You shouldn't notify your partner about this via a phone call or a text message. Show respect for the person with whom you were with, to whom you once felt love for. Try to do it without hysteria, accusations, scandals. Another person is not guilty that you feel bored with them. Before you take this step, talk to a friend, parent, or another person you trust. Do not ask for advice, inform about your decision and justify it. Just listen to what they say to this decision. is it time to break up with herPerhaps you have decided to give up on impulse, not really wanting to do it. You are not obliged to change the decision if it seems wrong to your interlocutor. It will not be superfluous to listen to it.

The decision to end the relationship should not turn into a game: “I will show you that I can do it!” Do not take it immediately after a quarrel or being offended in order to “teach” a partner or to prove something to them. In this case, you should not try to break the relationship at once. The desire to quickly do everything can be regarded by the partner as if you do not care about their feelings. If you do not want to hurt a person, try to soften the blow as much as possible. Don't give a reason to think that someone has appeared in your life, don’t do anything that can hurt your partner. However, you don’t need to take your sweet time with it as well. Every day that you spend hanging on this idea will make you doubt yourself even more. And again, to go back and suffer for no reason is the worst idea you can have.

The “Let's be friends” label actually doesn't always work. Not all people are ready to be friends with their exes. How to break up with a long time girlfriend? The main thing is to end a relationship without any hate or anger involved in the process. During the conversation, try to be cool, calm and collected. You should not blame your partner or yourself for something; it’s better to convey to them the idea that you do not see any further development of this relationship, that this is a dead end. Do not be afraid to voice your plans for the future, especially if they do not correlate with your relationship. You may hear a suggestion in response to how you can fix it. However, remember: giving a second chance (which, perhaps, will save it) or sticking with your decision is only up to you. Just do not give a second chance out of pity for the partner. No matter how much they cry and plead, tomorrow all problems will come up again. This will not lead to anything, and in the near future, you will probably again ask yourself a question, "How should I end this relationship?"

If you feel that you need to change your life - change it. Don’t be affected by someone else’s opinions because this is your life, it’s only your own. We hope that we have clarified for you how to end a relationship correctly. We wish you all the courage in making your life better.

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