What You Should Know About Cross-Class Dating


According to the psychologists and relationship experts, we tend to be more attracted to people with a similar background. We are looking for a partner with the same education and lifestyle because being in the same social class we share common interests and views on life and, yes, have similar incomes. The sociologists say that strangers who belong to one social class have more in common than a married couple where partners have different backgrounds. On the other hand, love doesn’t ask about class, it just strikes two people and it’s up to them either to make it work or give up and find somebody compatible. Daters with different backgrounds should be conscious about this difference that exists between them. Since the financial issues are reported to be among the most popular reasons for divorce, partners need to be aware of this and other common pitfalls of cross-class dating in order to avoid possible controversies stemming from it.

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Expanding horizons. People with different background have had different upbringing, life experiences, and as a result outlooks. If you’ve traveled a lot, learned new cultures, read extensively, got a degree in art, etc it doesn’t mean that your date has experienced the same. If you go to the art gallery and your date doesn’t recognize some famous works of art just because he or she wasn’t that into art during their school (college) days, don’t frown upon their ignorance. Instead of disparaging them, explain in a few words what you can see around you. You should focus on your partner’s experiences and be genuinely interested in discovering his or her personality.

Expectations. A perfect evening or a date conjures up different images in minds of people from different social classes. While one partner may think about movies and a stroll, the other party may want to go to a fancy restaurant or first night in the opera. Obviously, partners have got used to different entertainment and probably their finances have something to do with their preferences. You should discuss certain financial aspects from the start because they will inevitably reveal themselves as your relationship will progress.

Support and respect. No matter whether you are a white collar and your date is a blue collar or vice versa, you should respect each other’s job or profession. Your or your partner’s work can be not very remunerative but there is room for vocation and very often it can’t be resisted even if what you do doesn’t bring good money. If you view your partner’s occupation only as a way of making money and not as a way of fulfilling oneself, you make an emphasis not on your date’s personality but on his or her income. If in this situation you have different incomes, you are giving rise to inequality in your relationship.

Cultural norms. Different backgrounds don’t necessarily mean only different incomes. People brought up in different social environments may have different habits, interests, hobbies, and goals. Even if your incomes are virtually on the same level (although your partner is from a lower class), there will be discrepancies between you two. They manifest themselves in divergent food habits, table manners, as well as different views on spending leisure time. So, you should be patient and tolerant.

Opinions of others. Friends and relatives from both sides may try to convince the daters that they are not meant to be because there is a huge gap between them. You should hold the line if you’re serious about your relationship. If you and your date are not within the same social and economic class, don’t let your family meddle and discredit him or her. You may hear from them that he or she is taking advantage of your status. That is a stereotypical thinking and you should resist it if you’re sure about your partner’s intentions.

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